Letter to My Future Son

Dear Son,

If you are reading this,
then that means I am dead
(obviously, because this letter
passes by will).

I will give you very important advice
regarding marriage
which can be summed up
in four words.

Marry.
Your.
Best.
Friend.

Do not marry
anyone else.

If someone makes you laugh,
then go and date her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If someone is insanely hot,
then kiss her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If someone is great in bed,
then fornicate with her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If through some unforeseen circumstances
you should father a bastard,
then love the child.
But do not marry the mother.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If your best friend
is of the same sex,
then do not despair.
Just fly off to California
and marry him there.

Marriage is a sacrament,
and the vows are sacred.
There is only one requirement for marriage.
It has nothing to do with age gap,
nor how long you've known each other,
nor how happy you are together.

If you are not marrying your best friend,
then do not get married at all.


Love,
Your Father



*for Gary and Nicole
conceived: Batanes, 5 Feb 2012