Epic Fail in Three Acts

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
GUY -- single guy, late twenties
FRIEND -- GUY's male friend
GIRL a.k.a. HELEN OF TROY -- single girl, very beautiful, with a face that could start World War III

(Wedding reception. Food and drinks all around. Single guys and single ladies milling around.)


ACT I

FRIEND:
(approaches GUY) Hey, you seem unusually quiet.

GUY:
(stares lovestruck at HELEN OF TROY) She is soooooooo beautiful...

FRIEND:
Go talk to her!

GUY:
Later, dude. Let me work up my courage.

FRIEND:
Whatever.


ACT II
Thirty Minutes Later

FRIEND:
Still staring at her?

GUY:
Yes. And just so you know, she's been staring back.

FRIEND:
Really? Have you talked to her yet?

GUY:
Not yet. I'm really shy.

FRIEND:
What? Ask her to dance with you!

GUY:
Huh? I can't do that!

FRIEND:
Why not? It's a wedding! Oh look, some guys are talking to her. You're really slow, you know that?

GUY:
Okay, I'll talk to her. But I'll wait for that other guy to go away.


ACT III
Thirty Minutes Later Again

FRIEND:
You haven't talked to her yet? She's all alone! And I think she likes you.

GUY:
Okay, okay. I'm going.

(GUY approaches HELEN OF TROY)

GUY:
Hi.

HELEN OF TROY:
Hi.

GUY:
Um, are you a friend of the bride or the groom?

HELEN OF TROY:
(in a sexy French accent) Actually, the groom's cousin is our auntie. So the groom is like our uncle.

GUY:
Oh okay. Wait, the groom is kinda like your uncle? How old are you?

HELEN OF TROY:
Oh, I'm seventeen.

(Insert video footage of atomic bomb being dropped and a mushroom-cloud explosion.)


END

Sting Lacson

A writer. By degree and by profession. Also strongly advocates ten-finger typing to all writers because that's what you do for a living, so be efficient at it.

2 comments :

acs said...

I see the writer took some creative liberties.

Sting Lacson said...

yes. everyone who was there knows that's not how it went. lol.

i am still intoxicated. drat.

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