Look Ma, I'm a Writer!

Dear John,

I know you have to leave, and no one's stopping you. Hell, if my girl left me for another guy, I'd want to see the world, too. So I took the liberty of packing your suitcase for you. I included stuff to make sure you stay on the path, my brother.

First, the Eiffel Tower. To remind you of romance. And sex. Get laid!

Second, I put some you-know-what in the secret compartment. The smell alone should keep you happy. Just don't let them airport dogs sniff it, you know what I mean?

Third, I printed out that pic of your ex kissing that guy. I got it from her Facebook.

Fourth, I included my Zippo lighter. I'm giving it to you. Once you're over that bitch, burn the picture. Shift-delete her. Only then will you be truly free.

Fifth, don't forget your cellphone. We want to hear your voice when you're screaming at the top of the pyramids.

Call us, dude. We won't call you, as long-distance rates are expensive.


Love, Paul




*writing exercise for Jam 88.3 Performance Poetry Lecture hosted by Kooky Tuason featuring Siege Malvar, 14 Feb 2009
**performed at Bigkas Pilipinas, Jam 88.3, 14 Feb 2009
***bitterness unintentional

I. The Predator

A (male) wolf on the prowl is unstoppable,
with senses heightened for the kill.
His sense of smell is trained to sniff the air
for the faintest trace of pheromones.

The wolf on the prowl has enhanced vision,
seeing everything in black and white---
except of course for the females,
which he sees in full-color high-definition.

The only way to stop a wolf on the prowl
is to set a trap for it.


II. The Bait

The bait must be extremely powerful
to overwhelm the heightened senses
of the wolf on the prowl.

The bait must emit an unfamiliar odor,
like the scent of an alpha female
of a slightly different breed.
Sickeningly sweet,
like white Swiss chocolate.
Unmistakeably female,
yet something the wolf has never smelled before.

The bait must cause the wolf
visual overload.
She should be more than eye-candy;
she should give the wolf visual tooth-decay.
The bait must be larger-than-life,
like a movie star on a forty-foot screen.


III. The Trap

The wolf on the prowl will sniff the air.
He will detect the strange new scent
and hone in on the bait's fragrance.

The wolf will set his sights on the bait,
and get ready to pounce.
But like a Gorgon,
the bait's stare is venomous.
Once the eyes of wolf and bait meet,
even for just a split-second,
the wolf crumples to the ground,
powerless.


IV. The Venom

The bait's venom
is transmitted through
visual contact.
A split-second stare
will stop the wolf in his tracks.

The venom spreads
in a matter of seconds.
It causes a rush in the bloodstream,
and makes the wolf's heart
pump twice as fast.

The venom reaches the brain
almost instantaneously.
The wolf may experience slight dementia,
with faulty judgment,
and possibly even hallucinations.

The venom is not lethal,
but it is quite toxic,
more powerful than alcohol.
More potent than any psychoactive substance,
it can leave the wolf inebriated
for several days.


A wolf on the prowl
cannot really be stopped.
It can only be slowed down.

Despite the venom,
the wolf will always find a way
to conquer the bait.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
GUY -- single guy, late twenties
FRIEND -- GUY's male friend
GIRL a.k.a. HELEN OF TROY -- single girl, very beautiful, with a face that could start World War III

(Wedding reception. Food and drinks all around. Single guys and single ladies milling around.)

Thirty steps to the altar
is a very, very long road.

It should only take around thirty seconds,
yet I have walked this road my whole life.

I have dreamed of this before.
You and me.
Your world and mine.
All of you and all of me
gathered under one roof
in one celebration.

I have seen this many, many times,
even before I met you.
I have been asked these questions
countless times before.
You already know my answer,
same way I know yours.

I have seen this before,
in my dreams.
But today is different.
I know that this is not a dream,
for I can feel the warm tears
streaming down my face.


*Wedding poem for Jim Bacani and Bang Yanga, 05 February 2009, Caleruega