Look Ma, I'm a Writer!

Arrival

2012-02-09T13:48:00.001+08:00

The terminal doors swung open,
and out came the flight attendants,
gorgeous creatures
with legs like flamingos,
so long you could wrap them
around your neck.
Then out stepped the pilot,
escorted by two flamingos on either side,
and everyone in the terminal smiled and nodded at him
while he smiled back,
his old, experienced face
giving off an assuring smile.
Behind him came
the co-pilot,
a much younger man
without the grizzled and weathered
look about him.
But in reality
he was the pilot,
and the older man
was his subordinate.
You could tell by the number
of stripes on his sleeve,
and by the way he stood tall,
almost on tiptoe,
intent on showing the world
that he was a bigger man
than the one who came before him.

*inspired by a scene at the Manila Domestic Airport, 3 Feb 2012
and the radio show Cabin Pressure

The Flight of the Tumbleweed

2012-02-06T11:32:00.001+08:00

Hey little tumbleweed,
come and fly to me,
roll down the hillside
and drop into the sea

*5 Feb 2012 (Batanes)

The High Priest's Guide to a Successful Marriage

2012-02-06T11:22:00.001+08:00

Everyone listened intently
as the high priest
delivered his sermon
during the wedding ceremony.

"For my last words,"
he announced,
"I shall share with the couple
the secret of
a long-lasting, loving,
and happy marriage.

The priest then leaned
close to the couple
and whispered something in their ears.

The couple smiled,
then turned around to look
at the wedding guests in their seats.
All the married people
were smiling back at them.
But all the single people
were giving each other
looks that said
"What the hell was that all about?"

*Batanes, 4 Feb 2012

Letter to My Future Son

2012-02-06T11:11:00.001+08:00

Dear Son,

If you are reading this,
then that means I am dead
(obviously, because this letter
passes by will).

I will give you very important advice
regarding marriage
which can be summed up
in four words.

Marry.
Your.
Best.
Friend.

Do not marry
anyone else.

If someone makes you laugh,
then go and date her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If someone is insanely hot,
then kiss her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If someone is great in bed,
then fornicate with her.
But do not marry her.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If through some unforeseen circumstances
you should father a bastard,
then love the child.
But do not marry the mother.
Not unless she is your best friend.

If your best friend
is of the same sex,
then do not despair.
Just fly off to California
and marry him there.

Marriage is a sacrament,
and the vows are sacred.
There is only one requirement for marriage.
It has nothing to do with age gap,
nor how long you've known each other,
nor how happy you are together.

If you are not marrying your best friend,
then do not get married at all.

Love,
Your Father

*for Gary and Nicole
conceived: Batanes, 5 Feb 2012

Cow and Heron

2012-02-06T10:43:00.003+08:00

Cow was munching on some delicious green grass, when suddenly, a white bird landed beside him.

"'Ello!" said the white bird.

"Hello," said Cow.

"My name is 'Eron," said the bird. "What's your name?"

"Hello, Heron," he answered. "My name is Cow."

"'Ello, Cow!" said Heron. "I 'ave been flying for days. I feel tired and 'ungry. Is it all right to rest 'ere beside you?"

"It's okay," said Cow.

"What are you eating?" asked Heron.

"I am eating grass," answered Cow. "Do you want some?"

"I don't eat grass," said Heron sadly.

"How about mushrooms?" said Cow.

"I also don't eat mushrooms," said Heron.

"What do you eat?" asked Cow.

"I eat worms," said Heron. "And I also eat insects."

"When I pull on a tuft of grass," said Cow, "some worms and insects come out of the soil. You can eat them if you want."

"Cool!" said Heron.

As Cow munched on the grass, Heron ate the worms and insects that came out of the ground. They ate and ate until Heron was full.

"Thank you very much, Cow," said Heron. "'Ow can I repay you?"

"You're welcome," answered Cow. "No need to repay me."

"You are truly kind," said Heron. "Thank you very much. I 'ave to fly away now. Goodbye, Cow!"

"Goodbye, Heron!" said Cow.

Heron spread his wings and flew up into the sky. Cow watched as Heron disappeared, and then he went back to eating his grass.

*Conceived: Batanes, 5 Feb 2012

Life Planners Mgt. Corp. Inc. Ltd.

2012-02-06T10:43:00.002+08:00

Good morning, Ma'm, Sir!
Halika, upo po kayo.
Ayan, welcome po sa
Life Planners Management Corporation Incorporated Limited.
Kayo po si Ma'm [Nicole] at si Sir [Gary]
Okay, standard operating procedure lang po,
kailangan ko po kayo tanungin ng inyong
security questions.
Si Ma'm muna: Gaano na kayo
katagal magkakilala?
[Since 2005], okay very good.
And si Sir: What is your child's nickname?
[Taba]. Excellent.
Okay, so naka-schedule po kayo ng 9:00.
Pero dahil late na kayo,
diretso na agad tayo sa business,
keri?

Okay, so kaya kayo narito ngayon
ay dahil napuntahan ninyo ang aming website,
lifeplannersmgtcorpincltd.com,
at nag-fill up kayo ng online application form
para sa isa sa aming mga ino-offer na serbisyo.
Kung hindi pa rin ninyo napansin,
ang aming serbisyo ay
Life Planning. Duh.
Mayroon kaming six different types of services
para sa life planning.
Ang napili ninyo
ay Option no. 6,
at kaya kayo narito ngayon
ay para i-finalize ang paperwork.
Ngunit ayon po sa company policy,
legally obligated po akong ipaliwanag nang husto sa inyo
ang Options 1 to 5,
at ang aking mga ibabahaging impormasyon
ay higit pa sa impormasyon
na makikita sa aming website,
upang sa gayon ay maari pa kayo magpalit ng option
kung inyong gugustuhin.

Okay, so ito ang mga
hindi ninyo napiling option.
Ang Option No.1
ay tinatawag nating
"Daddy Douchebag" package.
So mayroon kaming
mga female seductress,
ito po ang catalogue,
pili na lang kayo.
Iba-iba po presyo niyan,
mas maganda, mas mahal.
So kung sino man
ang mapili ninyong seductress,
ay siyang magse-seduce dito kay Sir,
at within ten working days
ay garantisadong mai-in love 'tong si Sir
sa aming seductress.
Pag na-in love na siya,
siya na mismo ang makikipaghiwalay
kay Ma'm at kay [Taba].
On one hand,
hindi niyo na siya makikita muli
dahil kakalimutan na kayo si Sir nang tuluyan.
On the other hand,
wala kayong maaasahan kay Sir,
kahit pang-matrikula, pang-sustento,
ni singkong butas ay wala kayong makukuha.

Ang sumunod naman dito
ay Option No. 2,
na female version lang
ng Option No. 1.
Ang tawag namin dito ay
ang "Mommy Maldita" package.
So mayroon po tayong available na mga
tinatawag nating "disorder enhancers".
Mga tablet po ito na ipapainom niyo kay Ma'm,
half a tablet in the morning
and another half before matulog.
Kung ano man po ang disorder na mayroon si Ma'm,
kahit katiting lamang,
ima-magnify po ng aming tableta
up to 25 times! (Citation needed)
Halimbawa, Ma'm, mayroon kayong
Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder,
under ng medication na ito ay magiging
ADHD times 25.
Kung kayo naman ay may Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder,
ito ay magiging OCD times 25.
Again, within our company guaranty of ten working days,
siguradong mababaliw itong si Sir,
at itatakas niya ang inyong anak,
at hindi kailanman babanggitin na siya pala ay mayroong ina.
Ang ending niyan, Ma'm,
ay 'di mo na makikita ang iyong anak
except sa Facebook,
at hindi sila aasa sa iyo
para sa kahit na anong bagay.
Ang "Mommy Maldita" package pala
ay available lamang
kung ang inyong anak
ay tapos na sa stage na breastfeeding.

Ang ating Option Nos. 3 and 4 ay related,
so ipapaliwanag ko sila nang sabay.
Ito po ang tinatawag nating Weekend Parent package.
Ang Option No. 3 ay ang Weekend Dad package,
at ang Option No. 4 ay ang Weekend Mom package.
Pareho lang 'yan.
Basically, ang bata ay nasa custody ng isa sa inyo
mula 12:00 midnight ng Lunes
hanggang 11:59 PM nang Biyernes,
at for the rest of the time,
lilipat ang custody sa kabila.
Bagamat ang school days ay natural na nakatapat sa weekdays,
kung mayroong school activity na matatapat sa weekend,
halimbawa'y field trip o overnight camping,
ang custody ay mapupunta sa weekend parent.
At dahil ang Weekend Parent packages
ay ang aming pinakamahinang bumenta na serbisyo,
mayroon kaming special offer
para ma-engganyo kayong kumuha
ng Weekend Parent package.
Ito ang tinatawag naming "Awkward Overload".
Magaganap ang promo na ito
sa tuwing magpapalit ng custody ang magulang,
dahil sisiguraduhin naming
bigyan kayo ng maraming maraming awkward situations.
Halimbawa, ang ipangsusundo namin na sasakyan
ay ang same model ng kotse kung saan kayo nag-first kiss.
O kaya magpapasundo sa restaurant
kung saan kayo nag-first date.
Sa pamamagitan ng "Awkward Overload",
unti-unti naming buburahin
ang huling latak ng ka-sentihan at kabaduyan
sa inyong dugo.
Ang end goal ng "Awkward Overload"
ay matanggap ng parehong parents
na wala na silang pag-asang magkabalikan.

Option No. 5 naman
ang tinatawag naming
"Live-In Kabuhayan Showcase".
Mananalo kayo ng isang house and lot,
fully furnished,
may 60-inch LED Full HD 3D TV,
5Mbps na broadband connection,
dalawang Mac Book Pro,
at P5000 gift certificate sa Toy Kingdom.
Ngunit ang kapalit lamang nito ay
hindi kayo maaaring magpakasal.
Sa oras na kayo'y ikasal
ng pari o ng huwes,
ay babawiin sa inyo
ang buong Kabuhayan Showcase,
at kayo'y magmu-multa, jointly and severally,
ng hanggang 30% ng halaga ng mga produkto sa Showcase
dahil sa natural na wear and tear.

Okay, ayun po ang mga
HINDI ninyo napili.
Ang napili ninyo ay ang Option No. 6
o ang "Happily Ever After" package.
Kasama po sa package na ito ang...
wedding organization,
printing ng wedding invitation
(na wala ng chechebureche, na aming pinapauso ngayon
dahil ayaw namin ng wedding invitations na madaldal),
location,
local government clearance and permits,
Church permits,
drafting ng pre-nuptial agreement,
notarization,
accounting of personal property,
air fare via Zest Air
o ang tipo ng mas adventurous sa inyo,
ang aming Indiana Jones airplane
mula sa Sky Pasada,
travel insurance,
photo coverage mula sa award-winning photojournalist,
paparazzi coverage,
cocktails,
magnificent view ng South China Sea,
at isang bahay sa... drumroll...
Pampanga!
I know, right?
Na'ko, Ma'm, paano po kayo magko-commute niyan?
Wala pa naman sa package ang kotse.
Anyway, may bonus promo rin po tayo rito para kay Ma'm,
ang tinatawag nating "Hyphen Bonus"
kung saan makakatanggap kayo Ma'm ng P20 bonus
sa tuwing pipirma kayo ng kahit anong bagay
gamit ang inyong bagong apelyido.
Ang promo po na ito
ay hindi applicable
kung si Ma'm ay isang notary public.

Ayan po,
congratulations sa inyong pagpili ng "Happily Ever After"package.
Kung may iba kayong katanungan,
i-text niyo nalang ako,
or i-follow niyo nalang ako sa Twitter,
@iamlifeplannersmgtcoincltd.
Mabuhay!

*for Gary and Nicole
Batanes, 4 Feb 2012

20°35′30″N 121°53′46″E

2012-02-06T06:49:00.000+08:00

Zero-crime rate
is more than
just a statistic.

It is an actual place

where one can leave
any type of vehicle
unlocked
(even with the keys
in the ignition)
and not worry about it
being stolen.

*Conceived: Batanes, 4 Feb 2012

Up, Up, and Away

2012-02-06T06:42:00.002+08:00

Pressure in my ears,
Stronger as we go higher.
Pop! And now it's gone.

*Over the South China Sea, 5 Feb 2012

Eye in the Sky

2012-02-06T06:37:00.000+08:00

And God commissioned
a computer program to be made,
one that could see
the entire Earth.
And a programmer created it,
and called it Google Earth.
And it was presented to God
for beta testing.
He checked all the lands of the planet Earth,
and was pleased.
Then he checked
the waters of the Earth,
and saw something which disturbed him.
So God asked,
"What are those white things
scattered across the surface of the sea?
It seems the people have been polluting my oceans
with their trash."
The programmer answered,
"You can zoom in closer
and check, my Lord."
And God zoomed in,
and laughed.
"My bad," God said.
"It's just the waves."

*Batanes, 5 Feb 2012

Fantastic Flights

2012-02-06T06:34:00.002+08:00

The pilot loved
flying above the clouds
because he liked seeing
a rainbow ring
surrounding his plane's shadow
as it passed over
the large, white
swirl of cotton candy.

*Batanes, 4 Feb 2012

Doubtslayer

2012-01-09T10:49:00.002+08:00

The warrior
loomed over
the sleeping figure
of the fair maiden.

"Sleep tight,"
he whispered,
and drew from a pouch 'round his neck
a small phial
filled with a clear liquid.
He uncorked it
and downed the contents
in one gulp.

He leaned over the maiden
as if to kiss her,
and then suddenly
─he vanished.
But he didn't really disappear.
He shrank
to a size smaller
than a particle of dust,
and he fell through the air
until he was inhaled through the nose
of the sleeping maiden.

When he landed,
he found himself
in her bloodstream,
and was within seconds surrounded
by white cells of blood.
"Who are you,"
asked the cells,
moving in closer and closer,
"and what do you carry with you?"

"I am a warrior,"
he answered.
"On my left hand I carry
my shield named Goodness,
and on my right
my sword named Truth."

"And what do you seek here?"
asked the white cells.

"I seek
the dragon called Doubt,"
said the warrior.
"Show me the way to his lair,
so I may slay him
while he sleeps."

The white blood cells parted
to let the warrior pass.
"Follow this path,"
they pointed,
"until you reach
the heart.
There in the fourth chamber
dwells the dragon Doubt."

The warrior made his way
down the passage,
and soon he reached the heart.
He stumbled hazily
through the first three chambers,
which smelled of
dank and decay,
a fermenting tank
of evil energy.
And finally, in the fourth,
Doubt the dragon dozed
with one eye half-open.
He moved slowly across
the dragon's blind side,
and while holding up Goodness,
he unsheathed Truth from its scabbard
and lopped the beast's head off
with one swift stroke.

The dragon's headless body
convulsed and twitched,
and sensing that something
was about to go wrong,
the warrior fled full-speed,
running back the way he came,
flying out of the maiden's nose
just in time as a violent sneeze
shook the maiden awake.

When she opened her eyes,
the warrior was standing
by her bedside,
dripping head to toe
in sticky mucus,
which glistened in
the light of the sunrise.

"My beloved!"
she cried,
jumping up and
throwing her arms around
his neck.
And when she kissed him
on the lips,
the warrior knew that
Doubt was dead,
for the night before,
the maiden had cried herself to sleep,
cursing the warrior's name
to the seventh circle of hell.

The Princess and the Time Lord

2011-11-05T17:41:00.001+08:00

"We come from different worlds," said he.
"This will not work."

"But surely, we must try," said she.
"We must make it work."

"And how?" he asked.
"In your veins flows
the blood of kings,
and you are the daughter of one.
Surely he wants only
what is best for his little princess.
You must wed a prince,
who will someday be king,
and you will give him little princes
who will someday wear the crown."

"But it is not a prince I want," she answered.
"I want you.
You and your words that I do not understand,
you and your tales of magical places,
you and your adventures in far-off lands."

"If we must be together," said he,
"You must come with me.
For I cannot stay here
in your world,
in your time."

"Take me with you," she begged.
"My father has other princesses besides me.
But I have only one Time Lord."

And together they stepped into his flying machine,
soared up into the sky,
and vanished into a twinkle of light,
off to places she has never seen,
to hear words she does not understand.
But she will understand them,
soon,
for she is now
a Time Lord's wife.

10 Life-Changing Films

2011-07-09T17:36:00.005+08:00

by Sting Lacson

(Edited by Chonx Tibajia.
Published in the Philippine STAR, p. Q-2, 10 Oct 2010.)

Change starts with inspiration─so what if it hits us while we're slouched comfortably at a movie theater, fingers stained orange from cheddar-flavored popcorn? I have been asked to come up with a list of ten films that inspire change, all for the greater glory of mankind. This forced me to think then if I should enumerate the standard, feel-good, awe-inspiring movies that will make you want to change the world after watching it. There are lots of those, of course, like Schindler's List, or Gandhi. But then these are films about people who caused change. However inspiring I'm sure they were, the films themselves did not really inspire the change. What I am looking for is the cinematic equivalent of Noli Me Tangere, a film that has actually caused change, and not simply a film about causing change.

There are some films that I would want to include here, but although they have caused change, those changes were not for the greater good. One example is The Godfather, a case of life imitating art imitating life. Modern day mob practices were actually inspired by this movie, with several high-profile mob bosses claiming to be huge fans of The Godfather. But since it’s about organized crime, which is a bad thing, it does not make it to this list.

Bagets (1984)

The list would not be complete without at least one Filipino film. Fresh from the shackles of martial law, Philippine cinema finally gives the Filipino youth a chance to stretch their legs. Bagets gave birth to the matinee idols of the eighties, influencing everything from fashion to speech, and it has actually succeeded in making youth-oriented movies very popular at the box office, unlike the serious adult-oriented films of the seventies.

Top Gun (1986)

During Top Gun's theatrical run, recruitment booths were placed outside the cinemas by the Navy, hoping to recruit the adrenaline-charged guys coming out of the theaters. The result: the highest number of recruits in decades. No film has ever inspired people to fly jets more than Top Gun.

Dead Poets Society (1989)

The theme of this film is not in itself original: the whole teacher-student inspiration thing began with Stand and Deliver a year earlier, and was echoed in Dangerous Minds six years later, and most recently by Coach Carter in 2005.However, Dead Poets Society will always be remembered for two words: carpe diem. Seize the day. Those words have been repeated countless times and have been made to apply to equally countless situations─and not just because it's in Latin.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Let's put it this way: Before Jurassic Park, filmmakers used Stan Winston animatronics or Jim Henson's puppets to create movie monsters. Jurassic Park itself also used animatronics, but at the same time tested the waters of computer-generated images. And after the obvious success, computer-generated imagery has become the most important innovation in cinematic history since the introduction of color. In fact, it has even acquired its own acronym: C.G.I. When something gets its own acronym, you know it's important.

Toy Story (1995)

Pixar Animation Studios will go down in history as the pioneer and trailblazer of computer animation. Purists used to be hesitant about using computers, saying it will never capture the soul of traditional hand-drawn cell animation. But director John Lasseter was himself a traditional animator who embraced this new medium. Fifteen years (and several Oscars later), computer animation has practically killed cell-animated films at the box office.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Never mind that the rest of the world knows this as Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Although the movie version came four years after the book, Sorcerer's Stone has undoubtedly added to the already-solid fan base of the books. Although it is the Harry Potter books that are credited for making children re-discover the joys of reading, it is the first Harry Potter film that has made even the not-so-young ones pick up books and start flipping pages. And that is the reason why now, almost a decade later, we have more fans than ever before eagerly anticipating the first part of the conclusion of the Harry Potter saga.

The Passion of the Christ (2004)

There are no hard statistics to prove it, but I am pretty sure that after seeing this film, Catholic Sunday masses experienced a sudden influx of worshippers similar to what Whoopi Goldberg did in Sister Act. But this film was able to convert a huge chunk of the cast and crew to Catholicism. While filming. I know of no other film that has inspired change even before they began post-production.

300 (2006)

You can describe this movie using a single three-letter word: ABS. Now everyone, please be honest, after watching this movie, after seeing the brave Spartan warriors die a gallant death, did you not start doing sit-ups secretly in your room?

The Cove (2009)

This film will not leave you unaffected after watching it. You'll either 1) abstain from eating dolphins for the rest of your life, 2) start worshipping dolphins by buying all kinds of dolphin merchandise, 3) buy tickets to Bohol to swim with the dolphins, or 4) join groups like Greenpeace or the World Wide Fund and devote your life to protecting dolphins. And changing one single viewer is a step closer to changing (or completely eradicating) the practice of slaughtering dolphins. And no, dolphins are not just gay sharks.

Avatar (2009)

Although not the first film made in Real D 3D, Avatar definitely brought Real D away from the art film market (like U2 3D) and the kiddie market (like Spy Kids 3D) and brought it to a whole new level. Aside from developing new 3D optic technology, director James Cameron has inspired filmmakers after him to not be afraid of creating movies especially for 3D without worrying about production costs.

Sting Lacson writes for Da Couch Tomato (dacouchtomato.blogspot.com).

Making Memories

2011-06-12T16:36:00.000+08:00

There is
a reason

why I lie to my boss

and skip work

so I can photograph you

blowing out your first birthday candle;

why I drag myself
out of bed before sunrise
so I can drive you
to your first day of school;

why I pay double for tickets
despite being blind in one eye
so I can watch you enjoy
your first animated 3D movie.

I do these things
so that twenty years from now,
when you look back
in fond nostalgia
at the memories of your childhood,

I will be in them.

*Conceived 8 Jun 2011

"Always Something Bigger" (Working Title)

2011-06-10T18:38:00.002+08:00

I considered myself
a mountain of a man,
towering a head and a shoulder
above everyone else.
My gigantic build
was enhanced by
my arrogance,
which made people tremble
at the sight of me,
which in turn made me think that
I was invincible.

That is,
until I entered
Your House.

I had no need to crouch
(as I am used to)
while entering your doorway,
for even with my arms outstretched,
my fingers could not touch the top of the arch.
Inside, it seemed
that Your halls were made for giants,
for the ceiling stretched to such a height
that could kill a man when dropped from it.
And the music,
oh the music!
pounding, incessant,
seemingly discordant notes
which might have been music
to giant ears,
but which to me
sounded like music
inside the head of a madman.

And then I fell to my knees
and wept
like a child
who lost all his candy
to a bully.
I have been reduced
to sniveling snot
and I got up
and ran away from there
fast as I could,
even before having
laid my eyes
on You.

*Manila Cathedral, May 2011

Big Boy, Big School

2011-05-07T12:08:00.000+08:00

Congratulations! You'll be going to Big School now.

Here are five things I want you to remember.

1. Don't Cry
Crying is for babies. And you're not a baby anymore. You're a big boy. That's why you're in Big School. Also, bullies can smell tears.

2. Do Not Fight the Bullies
Bullies are bad. They like to punch smaller kids. They love to make smaller kids cry. Stay away from them.

3. Always Say the Magic Words
Those magic words are "Please" and "Thank You". Say these words all the time. Say them to everyone. And everyone will love you.

4. Share and Share Alike
Do not be selfish. Share with your frineds. Share your food. Share your toys. And your friends will share as well. Everybody will have fun.

5. The Adults are Your Friends
Be nice to the janitor. He keeps your classroom clean. Be nice to the lunch lady. She cooks your food. Be nice to the security guard. He keeps you safe. Be nice to your teacher. She helps you learn.

Remember those things I told you. These are things you must know. They are important. Not only in Big School, but in life.

*29 Mar 2011

Christmas in Summer

2011-05-07T08:51:00.000+08:00

The intense heat of the lights
add to the already-hot and humid air.
Then suddenly, two familiar faces
duck into my doorway,
step into my humble abode,
and make a slight quip
about how long my ceiling is.
I try to remember where I've seen them before,
and when they suddenly pull out
a wad of thousand-peso bills,
it dawns on me.

These guys are hosts
from that noontime television show,
and with their cameras pointing at me,
I suddenly realize that I am on the air.
The words they speak
do not register in my simple mind,
which has now frozen at the sight of money.
They hand me a total of
fifteen thousand pesos
while two more people barge in,
one with a year's supply of shampoo
(from their sponsors)
and another with a roasted pig
that could feed five families
(also from their sponsors).

Then with a friendly tap on my shoulder,
they leave my house,
ducking the same way they came in,
and I couldn't hear the host
laughing "Ho, ho, ho!" as he went,
because I myself
was laughing inside.

El Rompe Redes, or The Legend of the Brown Man of Barcelona

2011-04-05T18:21:00.001+08:00

Because we are the visitors,
the home crowd shows us hostility.
Because I am different,
the home team shows me hostility.

I have three defenders
guarding me at all times.

"Monkey," they call me,
for my pale brown skin is not
olive-brown like an Italian,
my dark eyes are not
bright blue like an Aryan,
and the bridge of my nose is not
aquiline like a Roman.

They could at least be more precise
and call me "Half-Monkey",
for my father is a Spaniard,
who married a short brown native woman
from the Philippine islands.

But to them,
my blood counts for nothing.
Half a monkey is still a monkey.

I am the only brown man
on a field of twenty-two players.

My teammates can see past
the color of my skin.
I am treated like a brother─
an equal (maybe even greater)─
because I score goals,
because I win matches,
and because they all know
I am the best player
among my white-skinned peers.

That is why my defenders look at me
with anger in their eyes
and hate in their hearts.
They will never allow
a monkey to beat them
in this beautiful game
they created.

I now have the ball,
and the defenders tighten their guard,
like zookeepers out to corral
an escaped chimpanzee,
and they hurl their tightly-woven
nets of prejudice
as they try to hold the monkey down.

But I am too fast for them.
I leave all the defenders behind,
nothing left for them to do but stare
at the number on the back of my jersey:
Number 1.

Racing toward the goal,
I cock my leg back,
and strike the ball
like the hammer of a gun,
and send the bullet flying.

I watch the goalkeeper's
bright blue eyes,
following the ball in disbelief
as it passes through his hands
and over his straw-colored head.

And the goal's net cannot hold my shot,
just as the zookeeper's net cannot hold the monkey.
My bullet travels so fast
that it breaks the net completely through,
splicing the fibers that hold
the twine of reality together.

The entire home crowd
is stunned into silence,
and the joyous uproar of our visiting team
praising my magnificent monkey kick
becomes the salt of insult
that sprinkles over the wounds of their egos.

In the cheery blue eyes of my teammates,
I am El Rompe Redes─
The Net Breaker.
My name will live in legend,
and the club will pass down my story
from generation to generation.

But in the teary blue eyes of my opponents,
I will live in infamy.
They will never see me
as the player who scored the winning goal
amidst the hostile conditions
of an away crowd.
My name will be spoken with loathing,
for I will live forever in their memory
as the monkey who destroyed their net.

*For Bersong EuroPinoy 3

Mother Knows Best

2011-03-08T09:40:00.002+08:00

Mother knows
This
was an accident.

"Unplanned," she says, "unforeseen.
What little foresight you had left
got thrown on the floor
along with your clothes."

Mother knows
there will be no union
of man and wife.
Not now. Not in the near
future.

"But I love him," I say.

"It's not 'the one you love',
it's 'the one who loves you'.

If he really loves you,
he will wait," says Mother's mouth.
But Mother's mind goes,
"If he really loves you,
This wouldn't
have happened."

Mother knows
what she wants for me:
my happiness.
Nothing more.

"Long-term happiness is
what I want for you," she says.
"And it comes to those who wait."

QUESTION 1: Choose the letter of the answer you think best represents your Mother's logic.
A. Do not wait, and marry the father of my child; or
B. Wait and marry my True Love, which may or may not be the father of my child.

Mother knows
everything─
about me,
about This.

Mother knows
the Future,
because she has known
the Past.

Mother is God.
She is my Creator.
I was my father's seed
but I am my Mother's fruit.

MULTIPLE CHOICE: Choose the letter of the word that best completes the sentence.
I should (A. fear; B. revere; C. adhere to) my Mother's words.
The correct answer is D. all of the above.

Mother knows
I need her guidance
right now.
And her guidance is saying
Not. Now.

Mother knows
I should have ended up
with someone better.
"'Innocent until proven guilty'
does not apply
in this jurisdiction, it's
'Outsider until proven Family'.

He has
all the time in the world
to prove that."

*for meea

Ang Bagong Laro ni Trudis Liit

2011-01-23T20:08:00.001+08:00

Isang hapon, masayang papunta si Trudis Liit sa basketball court. Dala-dala niya ang bagong niyang basketball. Ang bolang ito ay regalo sa kanya ni Kapitan Bong. Si Kapitan Bong ay ninong ni Trudis Liit.

---

Habang nagshu-shooting si Trudis Liit, may lumapit sa kanyang dalawang mas malaking bata.

"Trudis, ang ganda ng bola mo," sabi ng malaking bata. "Sali ka sa laro namin. Pero maghintay pa tayo ng pitong manlalaro, para maging sampu tayo."

"Sige!" masayang sagot ni Trudis. Pinasa niya ang kaniyang bola sa malalaking bata.

---

Maya-maya, may dumating na walong malalaking bata.

"Naku, sobra na tayo ng isa. Eleven na tayo," sabi ng pinakamalaking bata. "Trudis, mamaya ka nalang maglaro ha."

At naglaro ang sampung malalaking bata. Lumubog na ang araw at nag-gabi na. Hindi na nakapaglaro si Trudis Liit.

"Sorry, Trudis," sabi ng pinakamalaking bata. "Bukas nalang tayo maglaro."

Umuwi si Trudis Liit mag-isa. Ang bago niyang bola ay nadumihan na. At wala siyang pawis sa katawan, dahil hindi siya nakapaglaro kahit kaunti.

---

Kinabukasan, bumalik si Trudis Liit sa basketball court. Dala ulit niya ang kanyang bola.

Malayo pa lang siya, nakita niyang marami nang malalaking bata sa court.

Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, siyam, sampung batang malalaki.

Naisip ni Trudis na hindi na naman siya makakapaglaro. Tumalikod siya at dahan-dahang naglakad pauwi. Ngunit biglang may tumawag sa pangalan niya.

"Trudis! Pahiram muna ng bola mo!"

Lumapit ang isang malaking bata at hiniram ang bola ni Trudis. Hindi nakatanggi si Trudis. Mabait kasi siya at hindi madamot. Pero hindi na naman siya nakapaglaro.

---

Kinabukasan, hindi lumabas ng bahay si Trudis Liit. Kaya pinuntahan siya ng kanyang ninong na si Kapitan Bong.

"O Trudis, bakit wala ka sa court?" tanong ni Kapitan Bong.

"Hindi po kasi nila ako pinapalaro," malungkot na sagot ni Trudis. "Maliit po kasi ako at malalaki silang lahat."

"Gan'un ba?" sabi ni Kapitan Bong. "Sige, hintayin mo lang ako diyan."

Umuwi sandali si Kapitan. Pagbalik niya, may dala siyang bola ng football.

"O Trudis, para sa'yo," sabi ni Kapitan Bong. "Ngayon, tawagin mo lahat ng maliliit na bata, at magkita-kita tayo sa bukid."

---

Matapos ang isang oras, dumating sa bukid si Trudis Liit. Dala niya ang kanyang bagong football. May kasama rin siyang maraming mga batang maliliit. Nakita nila si Kapitan Bong na naghihintay na sa kanila.

"Lapit kayo, mga bata," sabi ni Kapitan Bong. "Tuturuan ko kayo mag-football."

Masayang naglaro ang mga maliliit na bata. Naglaro sila nang naglaro hanggang tumulo ang kanilang pawis. Naglaro sila hanggang lumubog ang araw. Kinabukasan, naglaro sila muli. Naglaro na sila araw-araw. At naglaro sila ng football hanggang sila'y tumanda.

WAKAS

Big Boys Don't Cry

2010-12-06T12:12:00.003+08:00

"Waaah! I don't like chocolate! I want vanilla!"

"Why are you crying?" asked Mommy.

"Because I don't like chocolate ice cream! I want vanilla ice cream!"

"Stop crying. Big boys don't cry. We'll buy your vanilla ice cream in another store."

* * * * *

"Waaah! I don't like carrots! I want cake!"

"Why are you crying?" asked Mommy.

"Because I don't like to eat carrots! I want to eat cake!"

"Stop crying. Big boys don't cry. Finish your carrots and you can eat cake."

* * * * *

"Waaah! I don't like Cartoon Network! I want Batibot!

"Why are you crying?" asked Mommy.

"Because I don't like to watch Cartoon Network! I want to watch Batibot!"

"Stop crying. Big boys don't cry. Watch Cartoon Network first, then you can watch Batibot.

* * * * *

"Waaah! I don't like a t-shirt! I want a toy!"

"Why are you crying?" asked Mommy.

"Because I don't like to buy a t-shirt! I want to buy a toy!"

"Listen to me. Stop crying. You're a big boy now. Big boys don't cry. Only babies cry. Are you a baby?"

"No, I'm a big boy now."

"So stop crying. I'll buy you this t-shirt for your birthday. And then I'll buy you a toy for Christmas. Okay?"

"Okay, Mommy. I'm sorry. I'll stop crying now."

* * * * *

And the big boy stopped crying since.

Sun, 5 Dec 2010.

The Face That Launched a Thousand Shirts

2010-12-02T14:37:00.002+08:00

by Gene Paulo Abrajano

(Edited and titled by Chonx Tibajia
Published in the Philippine STAR, page J-2, Sat, 21 Aug 2010.)

The STAR's Features Editor called me and asked, “Pwede ka ba magsulat ng article para sa Ninoy Aquino Day?”

I replied, “Ninoy Aquino Day? Mayro'n ba n'un?” It was only after she thought I was weird that I realized that she was referring to NINOY, the guy in the five hundred-peso bill. Fail on my part.

Anyway, I said yes, and asked her what angle she wanted me to take on the article. We had a couple of discussions before we finally settled for “How the youth remembers Ninoy Aquino.” Or something to that effect. She told me to interview ten people, preferably those born after 1990, or at least post-EDSA.

Eager to do the assignment (and since I had like less than twenty-four hours to write it), I went to work immediately. The first person I interviewed was my sister, born in 1990. I told her I needed to write an article about Ninoy, and asked her what she knew about him. Twice in the same day, Ninoy has been mistaken for Noynoy. Or vice versa. Either way, this is definitely not right, and in my opinion, is a bigger problem than kids not knowing who Ninoy is altogether.

This of course made me wonder why people mistake P-Noy for that guy in the five hundred-peso bill. Okay, they look a bit alike. They're father and son, after all. But it seems that people have made P-Noy his father's avatar. This is quite surprising, as father and son are more than a generation apart. But I'd like to think that they share more than their names (incidentally, there is only a one-letter difference in their nicknames).

As is typical of famous father-son relationships, one would think that the son would have some “living under the shadow” issues. There's John and Julian Lennon. Then there's Bob and Ziggy Marley. But aside from being artists, the fathers' shadow has become too big for the sons to escape from. The Aquinos, on the other hand, are a different matter. Aside from being politicians, both of them seem to be casting only one shadow, Ninoy's. P-Noy has simply stepped into his father's shoes, and thus does not have to worry about casting his own shadow, one greater than his father's.

So how big is Ninoy's shadow, really? Big enough, apparently. Cory Aquino has stepped into it from 1986-1992. And with P-Noy's election to the presidency, we can expect his shadow to remain for another six years.

And again, we go back to the avatar issue. If P-Noy is the avatar of Ninoy, then so was Cory. We've heard it countless times before: if Ninoy hadn't been shot in 1983, it would have been him in Malacañang, not his wife. It seems then that the Filipino populace does not vote for a person; the Filipino votes for an ideal, an ideal represented by a certain bespectacled former senator who died on the tarmac of the airport that now bears his name. This ideal, by association, was passed on to his wife, which got her elected to the presidency. And this ideal, by genetics, was passed on to his son, which also got him elected to the presidency.

Ninoy's ideals have outlived him, as they have outlived his wife. And they must also outlive his son. Ninoy's ideals must continue to exist, even after Ninoy Aquino himself has reached the status of “icon.”And Ninoy is close to reaching this status, as evidenced by the greatest creator of icons: pop culture.

Ninoy's induction into pop culture began even before he was immortalized on our currency (currently the second most expensive monetary bill of this country). It began with the use of the color yellow, way back since Cory Aquino's presidential campaign. This of course alludes to the song “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree,” Ninoy and Cory's favorite song. The color yellow also became the symbol for democracy and peaceful protests, gracing the cover of Time Magazine when they featured Asia's first female head of state. The yellow ribbon made a popular comeback in 2009, when Cory left this world to join her husband. This kind of gave P-Noy a campaign edge, since he also utilized yellow ribbons for his presidential campaign, way before the start of the official campaign period.

Artists have also gone as far as using metonymy with Ninoy's glasses. Some have also made shirts (yellow, of course) with Ninoy Aquino's face done in the style of Che Guevara. And this is where the danger lies, in my opinion. Che Guevara is more than an ideal now; he is an icon. And this is apparently the direction Ninoy Aquino is bound to take. Che Guevara used to represent an ideal, one that we may not all agree with, but an ideal nonetheless, pure and selfless. But once he became an icon, everything was lost. Now, people remember Che Guevara not for his socialist ideals that helped win the Cuban Revolution, but for the beauty of his face that looks damn good on t-shirts. And that same thing could happen to Ninoy, should the Filipino people forget the story behind the iconic mug found on countless campaigns and merchandise. Everything he fought for, everything he stood for, everything he died for is part of the story that we should keep on telling.

Many are still believers. That surge of patriotism running through the veins of today's youth? It seems very real and enduring. Let's hope that generations to come will see Ninoy not just as a face on a shirt, but a true face in the crowd─as someone real and could possibly be awakened from inside all of us.

Presidential Bets Article

2010-12-02T14:00:00.003+08:00

by GP Abrajano

(Published in the Philippine Star, circa March 2010.
The following article is NOT the published version.)

Land. The last frontier. It is probably the only thing that will still be in demand three hundred years from now. The entire world knows this, which is why the world powers are now scrambling for a slice of Antarctic real estate, and are also actively crafting legislation to distribute lunar land.

The Philippine Constitution prohibits foreigners owning lands in the Philippines. The 1935 and the 1973 Constitutions are explicit, the 1987 Constitution not quite so. This is because, according to law professor Carmelo V. Sison, it should already be implied.

There already exists a legal loophole regarding foreign ownership, and that is Republic Act 4726, known as the Condominium Act. Maneuvering through its legalese, it becomes possible for a foreigner to own one hundred percent of Philippine real estate, because when it comes to condominiums, it is possible to separate the interests on the land from the building.

What then could be the future of Philippine real properties? Would it remain patrimonial? Or would it be sold to the highest bidder? That all depends on who will lead this country at the start of the new presidential term. Here are the presidential candidates and their stand on foreign ownership of land in the Philippines.

Gilberto “Gibo” Teodoro: Gibo is a clear proponent of changing the charter. He is particularly vocal about reducing the legislative chambers into a single, unicameral system. We can understand where this is coming from, after two years of serving as a congressional legislator. Of course, this is not the only change he wants to see. He is for the partial lifting of the ban on foreigners owning Philippine lands.

Gibo is all for foreigners owning commercial, industrial, and residential lands. Residential lands are understandable ─ we’ve had foreigners living here as far back as anyone can remember. But commercial and industrial land is another matter. This actually covers potential tourist gold mines. This poses the danger of the gold being mined into foreign pockets.

He does, however, reserve to the Filipinos the agricultural, forest, mineral, and timber lands of these islands. I guess this seems all right. But I still can’t help but think that it’s the commercial and industrial lands that will generate more money.

Richard “Dick” Gordon: Dick Gordon is generally of the same view as Gibo, that is, opening our lands to foreign enterprises. He also added that our minerals, our oil, and our waters should be reserved only for Filipino citizens.

This is of course coming from a man who held the mayoralty seat of Olongapo city for thirteen years, and chaired the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority, countless others tourism agencies, and also served as Secretary of the Department of Tourism. For someone who would go the extra mile to attract foreigners to visit our shores, you can only imagine how far he would go to attract foreigners to stay on our shores.

Joseph “Erap” Estrada: Erap is the third presidential bet who is openly pro-foreign ownership of Philippine lands. This has been his policy when he was still in office, and he shows no signs of changing this policy should he get re-elected this time.

Think back to the time of Erap’s CONCORD, or Constitutional Correction and Development. Charter Change had already been part of his agenda, although not in a term-extension manner, but in a manner that will sell our national patrimony to the highest bidder.

Manuel “Manny” Villar: To determine Villar’s stand on land ownership by aliens, all one has to do is study the platform of the Nacionalista Party.

“Foreign Investors are welcome to invest in the Philippines so long as the national patrimony and economy is protected and not compromised. Foreign investors shall be allowed access to land through the lease system.” So the Nacionalistas are not actually against totally alienating the aliens from Philippine lands, because they do allow the foreigners access to it. Just through a system of lease. Why sell, when you can lease it, make just as much money, and still retain ownership?

The platform also states that, “Land ownership has always been an important component of building up the Filipino middle class and it should not be easily compromised.” That is of course, the Nacionalista Party speaking. Not Villar himself. On the issue of foreign land ownership, Villar gives the cryptic response of “letting the people decide.”

Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III: When asked about changing the charter’s policies on foreign ownership of lands, Aquino gives the vague answer, “if it is necessary.” He plans on forming a separate Commission to determine if it is necessary to amend the Constitution’s prohibitions regarding foreign ownership, if it is actually necessary for our economic growth. Well of course anything can be justified as “necessary” as long as the conditions are ripe.

We must take into account that Aquino comes a family of landowners, whose vast haciendas have not yet been distributed to the farmers that tilled its soil, pursuant to the directives of agrarian reform. So if Filipino farmers cannot own their lands, I don’t think even foreign businessmen should.

Eduardo “Eddie” Villanueva: Brother Eddie, along with Nicky Perlas, is maybe the only candidate with no experience in public office. His concerns are different from the other candidates. For example, he has no solid stance on foreign ownership of lands. But he does say that he is against all forms of foreign intervention. We can also assume he is against foreign ownership of Philippine lands.

John Carlos “JC” De Los Reyes: De Los Reyes may also be a relative cellar-dweller in the presidential race, but he is one of those who are against foreign ownership of lands. His prohibition is not total, though. He still retains a nationalist policy regarding lands, but he has expressed interest in exploring the possibility of letting foreigners have “limited ownership” of our lands. Not to take it against him, but history has shown us that “limited” will eventually mean “full.”

Ana Consuelo “Jamby” Madrigal: Senator Jamby has come under a lot of flak from the voting populace, what with her relentless drive against corruption and corrupt officials. And yet, Madrigal’s stance on foreign ownership of land may actually be the strongest among those who oppose it in its entirety. Madrigal wants to shield the patriotic provisions of our constitution reserving the rights of Filipino citizens to land ownership against any and all forms of foreign influence. For her, there are no conditions. Foreigners must not own lands. The Philippines is strictly for Filipinos.

Nicanor “Nicky” Perlas: Nicky Perlas is the underdog, one with no political experience under his belt. He also has the clearest, meatiest platform among all the candidates. Yet surprisingly, his platform, as well as his party’s (PANGMASA) platform, is silent on the issue of foreign ownership of land. It does put emphasis on the state of mining in this country, and talks about broadening “the ownership-base of the mining industry”. But this is in relation to local miners. However, if you take this in context with another point of his platform of encouraging foreign investment in the country, then I guess you can consider his platform vague on the issue of foreign ownership.

So there you have it. The question is: Should foreigners own land in the Philippines? Three candidates said yes. That’s Teodoro, Gordon, and Estrada. One is unsure, and that is Villanueva. Four are vague, and that’s Villar, Aquino, De Los Reyes, and Perlas. And only one has a loud, resounding NO, all caps, and that’s Senator Jamby Madrigal. And if your presidential vote will depend on the candidate’s stand on foreign ownership, then I hope this article has been of some help.

Look Mom a.k.a. I Can Do Things on My Own

2010-09-09T17:36:00.000+08:00

Look, Mom!
I can write on my own.
I hold the pencil with my hand,
and make my mark on the paper.
See? That's my name!

Look, Mom!
I can eat on my own.
Fork on the left hand,
spoon on the right.
And I scoop the food into my mouth. Yum!

Look, Mom!
I can dress up on my own.
First my underwear,
then my shirt and shorts,
then my socks and shoes.

Look, Mom!
I can tie my shoes on my own.
A loop on the left,
and a loop on the right,
then I loop the two loops together.

Look, Mom!
I can read on my own.
Left to right, top to bottom,
turn the page, and do it again.
Now you don't have to read me a bedtime story!

Thank you, Mom,
for teaching me
how to do things
on my own.

*6 Sep 2010.

I Saw A Little Girl This Morning, and Thought of You

2010-08-22T17:40:00.003+08:00

A little girl, about six,
walking home from school,
two fingers pinching her lower lip,
creating a very tiny hole,
and when she inhaled sharply,
she made a high-pitched whistle.
And she kept whistling
as she walked, and
I could hear her
even after she turned
the corner.
And I remembered
when you told me
that when you were that age,
around six,
your older brother told you
to stop whistling,
because girls don't whistle.

2 Aug 2010

The Firefly Concierto

2010-06-25T21:17:00.004+08:00

Fire. Fly. Fire. Fly.
Moving through the night
Blink on. Blink off.
Firefly's alight.

Shine once. Shine twice.
Glowing in the dark.
Night time. Bright time.
A concert in the park.

The Olympian Light Shows

2010-06-19T20:56:00.005+08:00

There are two types
of light shows
on Olympus.

The first type: the Sound Show.
When a blinding flash
like a huge strobe
blinds mortal eyes
for just a split-second,
coupled with
the crack of
a hundred thousand whips
in unison,
that is Zeus
throwing a tantrum.
And the waters that fall
are the tears of the gods,
feeling sorry for the mortals
who are at the receiving end
of Zeus's fit.

The second type: the Silent Show.
When you see Zeus's lightning bolts
being thrown around
from cloud to cloud,
backlighting their beautiful shapes
intermittently,
that is Zeus
throwing a party.
There is
no noise, not
even a single whip crack,
because this is an exclusive party.
No mortals are invited here,
and all the gods are either
dancing, and/or drunk.

*But after the light shows,
when Apollo's chariot rides
across the fields,
then spring the
golden caps.
These mushrooms
are actually ambrosia,
the food of the gods,
and for mortals,
their ticket to
the Silent Show.

Tao Te Jedi: Taoist Influences in the Jedi Philosophies of Star Wars

2010-05-08T22:10:00.017+08:00

INTRODUCTION

Maybe no other phrase in modern English can claim to be mystical while still remaining cool, and that is, “May the Force be with you.” It is a line made famous by the science-fiction film saga Star Wars, probably the most successful film series in history, dominating the whole decade of the eighties, and crossing well into the next millennium.

The whole Star Wars phenomenon is a pioneer in many fields. Tomlinson Holman, the technical director, was the first to develop the strategy for replicating the excellent sound quality of the dubbing studio in theaters, which today is more popularly known as the THX sound system (Otte:1994). Creator George Lucas spearheaded the digital revolution, when his Industrial Light and Magic (ILM)¹ wizards won the Best Visual Effects Oscar² for the flawlessly-realistic dinosaurs for the film Jurassic Park in 1994. He was also the first to remaster his old films and re-releas them as the Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition in 1997. He also pioneered the merchandising practice, the first filmmaker to make millions from the sales of his movies’ posters, t-shirts and lunchboxes. And now apparently the Star Wars films have started a new religion.

British officials from the Office of National Statistics reported that nearly 400,000 wrote “Jedi” on their 2001 census form, outnumbering those who registered their faith as Jewish, Buddhist, or Sikh, while in Australia more than 70,000 people have declared that they are followers of the Jedi faith. One of the Jedi’s most popular websites, jediism.org, states their creed: “(Our) mission…is to reaffirm and restore the knowledge of the True Inner Self (which we refer to as Jedi)” (Skye:2003).

Sound familiar? It should be. It is modern-day Taoism, the philosophy of Lao Tzu which Lucas draws heavily from in Star Wars. This paper shall illustrate the huge influence Taoism has had on the mythical Jedi Knights and the whole philosophy of the Force.

TAOISM

Before we can appreciate anything I shall discuss in this paper, we must first have a basic understanding of the two philosophies to be discussed, and these are 1) Taoism; and 2) the ways of the Jedi³.

Taoism is a Chinese philosophy begun by Lao Tzu. Little is known of him, and even his very existence has been disputed. Scholars place his birth at 604 B.C., and they say he lived the same time as Confucius, and had been keeper of the Archives of the Treasury of the Imperial Court (Soothill:1973). Numerous legends have been attributed to him, even some fictitious conversations with Confucius himself.

Regarding the Tao Te Ching, recognized as one of the most influential woks in human history (aside from the Christian Bible, the most translated work of literature), single authorship is not even attributed to Lao Tzu by most scholars. They say that most of the Tao Te Ching may have come from Lao Tzu himself, and it was probably passed down verbally before it was written down. The use of rhyme made the text easier for people to remember and recite (Lin:1939). But once the words were immortalized in writing, scholars began to doubt if other writers have not added passages to the original, and thus the idea of the Tao Te Ching as a multi-authorial work was born.

The impact of the work, however, cannot be denied, and if the enigmatic lines of Lao Tzu may leave some of the readers perplexed, his ideas have been explained with some element of humor by his most famous disciple, Chuang-Tzu. If Lao Tzu gave us the instructions (however vague they may seem), it is Chuang-Tzu who gave us the applications of the Taoist philosophy. Taken together, Lao Tzu and Chuang-Tzu give us one of the greatest philosophies the East has ever spawned, a philosophy unique and indigenous only to China.

THE JEDI

To those uninitiated in the realm of Star Wars, let me give a brief background. The whole Star Wars saga is comprised of six films. The first trilogy (actually the second half of the saga, Episodes IV, V, and VI) was released in 1977, 1980, and 1983 respectively. The second trilogy (the first three episodes of the saga) was released in 1999, 2002, and 2005⁴. The whole saga tells the story of Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi Knight who betrayed the Jedi order and turned to the Dark Side. He however redeems himself in the end, thus fulfilling a prophecy about him, that he would bring balance to the Force.

However, it is not so much the starships and the space battles we are interested in, but the Order of the Jedi Knights. The Jedi⁵ are mystical warriors, “keepers of the peace, not soldiers,” armed only with two weapons: a lightsaber (a kind of laser sword), and their knowledge of the Force. With these alone, they are able to engage enemies armed with laser guns and still emerge unharmed. Such is the power of a Jedi, and a Jedi’s power stems from the Force.

THE JEDI⁶
The Jedi are selfless. They only care about others.
A Jedi must have the deepest commitment. The most serious mind.
Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things.

The Force is what gives the Jedi his power.
A Jedi’s strength flows from the Force.
A Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him.

Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion...define[d] as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life.
So [it can be said that the Jedi] are encouraged to love.

Wars not make one great.
[The Jedi] are keepers of the peace, not soldiers.
A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
There are alternatives to fighting.

When written in this form, it will be easier to see how much a Jedi Knight is very similar to a Taoist. One can even say that the Jedi are Taoists in a galaxy far, far away. Indeed, the Taoist too must have the deepest commitment and the most serious mind, for detaching oneself from all earthly attachments is no easy feat. Nor must the Taoist crave adventure or excitement, otherwise his isolation would have been in vain, for adventure and excitement still imply attachment, and that is attachment to pleasure. For the Taoist, attachments and possessions are automatic no-no’s, for one must embrace only Nature, the Tao. The Tao Te Ching’s equivalent for that is found in Chapter 19:

Discern plainness.
Embrace simplicity.
Reduce selfishness.
Restrain desires. (Tao Te Ching: chapter 19)

Nameless simplicity means being without desires.
Being without desires and with tranquility,
The world will keep peace by itself. (TTC: ch.37)

To the Taoist, the mere act of possessing something,

This is called robbery and extravagance.
Really, this is not Tao. (TTC: ch.53)

Love too, is forbidden, unless it is the love that is not selective; that is love, compassion for everything in the universe, animate or inanimate. However, we should not love too much, for then we become attached.

Of gain and loss, which is more distressing?
Therefore, loving in excess incurs great cost. (TTC: ch.44)

The Jedi’s passive attitude clearly demonstrates the Jedi’s abhorrence for violence, parallelized by

Weapons are the tools of evil
not the tools of the gentleman.
When he uses them unavoidably, he is most calm and detached.
And does not glorify his victory. (TTC: ch.31)

And as the Taoist draws energy from the Tao, so does the Jedi draw energy from the Force.

THE FORCE
Be mindful of the living Force.
It is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.

My ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is.
Its energy surrounds us and binds us.
You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock. Everywhere.
Feel the Force flow.

Use the Force.
Sense the Force around you.
The Force will guide us.
It continually speaks to us, telling us Its will.
When you learn to quiet your mind, you’ll hear It speaking to you.
It also obeys your commands.
You will know when you are calm…at peace…passive.

The original idea for the eternal is supposed to be “Nameless,”

The Nameless [non-being] is the origin of heaven and Earth.
The Namable [being] is the mother of all things. (TTC: ch.1)

as stated in the first chapter of the Tao Te Ching. But in order to teach this concept, one cannot keep on referring to a nameless idea, so for the sake of Lao Tzu’s students, he decided to name it.

Not knowing its name, I can only style it Tao. (TTC: ch.25)

But what is Tao? Apparently it is something so deep that no word can fully synonymize itself with it. It cannot even be directly translated as God. In places it seems to be confused or sometimes interchangeable with T’ien (Heaven), The Great Unity, The Great Mystery, The Great Illuminator, The Great Framer, The Great Infinite, The Great Truth, The Great Determiner (Soothill:1973). For me however, its closest equivalent in meaning was coined in 1977─The Force.

Tao is therefore also “Truth”, “right conduct”. Tao underlies the cosmos. Tao inhabits every created thing (Campbell:1973). Like the Force, described as an energy field,

Looked at, it cannot be seen;
it is called colorless.
Listened to, it cannot be heard;
it is called soundless.
Grasped, it cannot be obtained;
it is called formless. (TTC: ch.14)

Once a person hears the Force speaking to him/her, that person is well on the way to becoming a Jedi. Similarly,

The superior man, on hearing Tao,
Practices it diligently. (TTC: ch.41)

Since Tao is the backbone of Taoism, so is the Force the backbone of the Jedi faith. That is why it is spelled with a capital F.

CONCLUSION

There are actually more instances that show how George Lucas draws heavily from the work of Lao Tzu, and if I were to enumerate them all, it would take several dozen pages, and could in fact be a complete dissertation in itself. Star Wars, however, does not draw solely on Taoism. We can also see influences of Buddhist and Christian doctrines echoing throughout the story. What is fascinating however is that the dominant ideas presented are undoubtedly Taoist. And it makes us wonder then how the present generation of human beings, the generation of computers, the internet, and MTV, how they can have room to accept the centuries-old teachings of the sage Lao Tzu. For despite all our modernity, we seem to have a soft spot for the mystical, for the divine, for the things we cannot explain.

=========================

FOOT NOTES

¹Industrial Light and Magic is Lucasfilm's special effects arm.
²Award from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
³There really is no philosophy called Jediism, so I shall refer to it as "the ways of the Jedi".
⁴The chronology of the films’ release was only a matter of chance, and was not intended as a storytelling device.
⁵The word “Jedi” has the same singular and plural form.
⁶I have written passages similar to Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, to illustrate my point. This then is the Tao Te Jedi. Every line from the passages comes from actual lines in the Star Wars films.

END NOTES

Peter Otte. The Information Superhighway: Beyond the Internet. Indianapolis: Que Corporation, 1994. pp. 115-139.
Dan Skye. “Dawn of the Jedi.” High Times No.334 June. 2003. p.12
Paul J. Lin. A Translation of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching and Wang Ping’s Commentary. Michigan: Center for Chinese Studies, University of Michigan, 1977.
W. E. Soothill. The Three Religions of China: lectures delivered at Oxford (3rd ed.). London: Curzon Press Ltd., 1973.
Lin Yutang. My Country and My People. New York: The John Day Company, 1939.
Joseph Campbell. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1973.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Liam Neeson,
Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz. Twentieth Century-Fox, 1999.
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Hayden Christensen. Twentieth Century-Fox, 2002.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Hayden Christensen. Twentieth Century-Fox, 2005.
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Dir. George Lucas. Mark Hamill, Alec Guiness, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher. Twentieth Century-Fox, 1977.
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Dir. Irvin Kirshner. Perf. Mark Hamill, Alec Guiness, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Frank Oz. Twentieth Century-Fox, 1980.
Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Dir. Richard Marquand. Perf. Mark Hamill, Alec Guiness, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Frank Oz. Twentieth Century-Fox, 1983.

*circa October 2005.

My Half-Brother

2010-04-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my seventh birthday.
Papa will take me to Enchanted Kingdom.

Papa and Mama divorced before my first birthday.
Mama said Papa ran off and married a witch.

“Tomorrow your Papa has a surprise for you,” said Mama.
I asked her what kind of surprise will I get.
She said, “Tomorrow you shall meet your half-brother.”

I asked her what a half-brother looks like.
Is he all-left? Or purely right?
Is he like a manananggal, just waist-down? Or waist-up?

Mama laughed and explained to me that my half-brother was Papa’s son, but not hers.
“Who is his mama?” I asked.
She answered, “Why of course, it’s that witch your Papa married.”

I tried to imagine what a witch’s son looks like.
Probably a hunchback with one eye and a nose full of warts.
__________

Today I met my half-brother.
He wasn’t a one-eyed hunchback.
He wasn’t all-left or purely right.
He wasn’t like a manananggal.
He looked like me.

Today I spent my birthday in Enchanted Kingdom with Papa and my half-brother.
At the Ice Cream Parlor, we bought the same flavor.
At the video arcade, we played the same game.
At the Haunted House, we screamed in fright at the same ghost.

We both had the same smile.
We both had the same laugh.
And we both had the same tear in our eye when our day ended.

“Good-bye, Kuya!” my half-brother said.
“I hope you come on my birthday.”
__________

Tomorrow is my half-brother’s birthday.
His mama is not a witch.
His mama is rich.
Tomorrow we are going to Hong Kong Disneyland.

*circa 19 Jan 2007

Harmed Struggle (Filipino)

2010-04-09T18:00:00.003+08:00

(Isang katotohanan: ang isang bala ay hindi
nakapananakit sa labas
ng chamber nito.)

Ganito ang pagbuo
sa isang Amaru .357:

Una, pagsamahin ang bolt¹ at ang carrier²
¹bolt─ang isip:
tagapaglikha ng teorya.
na siya nating tesis
²carrier─ang laman ng salita;
binibigyang-katauhan bilang praktika,
ang antitesis

Ipasok ang napagsamang³ bolt at carrier, at itulak ang handle⁴ pasulong
³ang pinagsamang teorya at praktika
ang nagiging konkretong
kilos
⁴handle─ang susunod na tesis
ay kinakailangang itulak
nang pasulong upang mkalikha
ng isang panibagong kontradiksyon.

Ihanay ang hammer⁵ kasama ang trigger⁶
⁵hammer─ang konsiyensya
nararapat ilinya sa
⁶trigger─ang pagpapasya
na lumikha ng mga moral.

Hilahin ang lock-on spring guide⁷ na siyang nagpapahintulot sa ‘yo na mailagay
ang cover⁸ pabalik sa chamber⁹.
⁷lock─on spring guide,
upang panatilihin tayong naka-linya
⁸cover─pagpuna
patungkol sa ‘yo,
inilagay ang sa itaas ng
⁹chamber─ang pagpuna
sa sarili: ang iniisip mo
patungkol sa sarili mo.

Tapos, ipasok na ang isang punong magazine¹⁰, tanggalin¹¹ ang safety¹² at ikasa¹³ ang handle
¹⁰magazine─puno
armas ng mandirigma ng mamamayan.
Upang masundan ito nararapat na
¹¹tanggalin─ibukod:
ihiwalay ang sarili mula sa
¹²safety─ang pamilya, ang paraan ng pamumuhay
ay nararapat
iwanan nang hindi
lumilingon.
¹³ikasa─ihanda ang sarili
para sa susunod na kontradiksyon

Ang Amaru .357 ay regalo
bigay ng Cuba sa Pilipinas (mula kay ate para kay dite)
dalawang hija ng Inang Espanya.
sapilitang pinakasal
sa mabahong G.I. Joe
sa halagang dalawampung milyong dolyar.

Ito ang siyang armas na ginamit ng Cuba upang barilin ang kanyang asawa,
ang siyang nagpatupad sa diborsyo.

*narito ang bersyong Ingles

Spaghetti L'Amore

2010-03-27T22:04:00.004+08:00

To every person
There is one true spaghetti

To some people
Spaghetti must be sweet
Like those served at children’s parties
Where little boys and girls meet
With tomato ketchup instead of tomato sauce
Smeared around the mouth

To others
Spaghetti must be salty
Like those at the American diners
Where teenage girls meet teenage boys
With meat sauce and meatballs
Staining their skirts and shirts

And still to other people
Spaghetti must be just a little bit sour
Like those at the five-star restaurants
Where the gentlemen date the ladies
And where we find traces of real tomatoes
Creating kiss-marks on the napkin

While to other people
Spaghetti must be pure Italian
Like those served in Milan and Roma
Where honeymooners stroll and old couples date
The aftertaste of Sicilian olives
Still fresh in their mouths

The true spaghetti is made
With a secret spice whose main ingredient
To this day
Remains a mystery

*old poem, circa May 17, 2005. Possibly written earlier.

Near-Sighted

2010-02-23T17:55:00.001+08:00

I am

near-sighted

when it comes to

reading

souls.

I can only

read

souls

that are

close to

me.

Hypocrisy

2010-02-23T17:47:00.006+08:00

Why do you

chide your child

for having

a bong in his hand

while you have

blood on yours?

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
-Ieshua ben Yosef, The Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 5

Priceless

2010-02-15T10:11:00.006+08:00

It is the unexpected

that puts the wonder

in wonderful.

Surprises

are priceless.

So it is in the movies,

when an award-winning actor

suddenly appears

in unrecognizable make-up

for just two minutes

of screen time.

So it is in music,

when during a rock concert,

a rapper suddenly walks onstage

to spit out verses,

creating a remix

that is not in the album

version of the song.

So it is in novels,

when a sudden twist

destroys the

plot's predictability,

creating a

new narrative

arc altogether.

And so

it is

in real

life.

*Valentines Day 2010

U=XT

2010-02-05T09:02:00.002+08:00

Let
U = Euphoria
X = Ecstasy
T = Time

(Defintion-"Ecstasy": The intensity of a positive emotion.)

U=XT

Euphoria equals Ecstasy
times Time.

Ecstasy is inversely proportional to Time.

Greater Ecstasy times
lesser Time
equals
lesser Ecstasy times
greater Time.

An intense,
romantic, one-
week affair is
greater than or equal to
a dull, predictable ten-
year marriage.

*Old poem, circa 27 Aug 2009

The Bone

2010-02-04T15:28:00.004+08:00

He opened her wardrobe
expecting to find
that skeleton
from her freshman
college science lab.
But he found it empty
(then he suddenly remembered
she already
cleared her closet)
save for
one, single
bone, the longest in the body,
a femur ─ thigh bone ─
and he doesn't know if it's left
or right.

It bothered him,
for the bone stank
like bacteria-
infested cat feces.

With surgical gloves,
he picked it up,
and saw that the bone
was made of plastic,
which made him wonder
"How can
something synthetic stink so?"

He wanted to take a shovel
and bury it, but
he didn't want to
burn that many calories
for a fake bone
that's not even good enough
for a dog to chew on.

So he went outside,
drew back his arm,
and launched the bone like a projectile,
hurling it like a home run
fired from a cannon.

And the bone landed
in a garbage dump,
with the other trash,
where it belonged.

If There Is Background Noise

2010-02-01T11:15:00.002+08:00

If there is background noise
on both ends of the phone
then you are really, really lucky
              for there is nothing more sickening than
              the sight of two people in love
as they let each other know
their X and Y coordinates

              You want her to know where you are
              because you want to know where she is

If there is background noise
only on your end of the phone
(highly unlikely, considering she’s
              a very, very nice girl) she could be
              in a hotel room in Paris
while at home you are thinking
she’ll spend the weekend at her sister’s

              You want to know where she is
              because you want her all to yourself

Now if there is background noise
on just her end of the phone
then you should reflect on your actions:
              A girl like that doesn’t deserve to be left
              in the dark, alone and clueless
when you told her you had to work
overtime (with your secretary)

              She wants to know where you are
              But you don’t want to tell her

But if the background noise disappears
on both sides of the phone
then maybe it’s about time.
              You failed to notice her
              noise faded a long time ago
while you were giving her lame excuses
and she doesn’t give a damn where you are at all

*Old poem, circa May 17, 2005

The Tear Duct Override Code, featuring Snail Mail From Jail

2010-01-28T07:49:00.005+08:00

This is the override code for the Tear Duct Control System.

The code uses additional security protection, and must be entered exactly. The code is case-sensitive, line break-senstitive, and font-sensitive.

The font used is "Personal Penmanship Small Caps".

---

1st generation
recording
of thoughts
condition
emotion
and overall demeanor
manifested directly
from Idea to Inscription

using lead markings

on wooden pulp

has more soul than

an Idea

digitized on qwerty

transformed to numbers

and

rescrambled into recognizable Roman

characters on LCD

which, until printed,

exist only

in cyberspace

---

Typing in the code correctly will override the wall controls of the Tear Ducts, and allow the water to flow from your eyes unobstructed.

Battle Scars

2010-01-13T07:39:00.002+08:00

She is a warrior,
invincible at first glance,
but still human--scarred.

Bells

2010-01-12T03:48:00.003+08:00

Little tinkling bells
Like the sound of your laughter
Music to my ears

Sunrise

2010-01-11T15:04:00.003+08:00

More beautiful than
the sunrise, you are brighter
than the light of day.

Encarnación

2009-12-19T17:25:00.003+08:00

One day, a little boy
asked the Universe,
"I wish to create
a playmate."

The Universe answered that
the boy must begin with
an Idea--
no body yet--
only form.

So the little boy
thought of an Idea
for a playmate.

"Then you must,"
said the Universe,
"wish with
all your might
for your Idea to
be born (with a body)
into reality."

The little boy wished
and wished and
wished very hard, until his
wishing tired him,
and he fell asleep.

When the boy woke up,
he could see a face
staring at his. That
face is familiar,
thought the boy,
and then he realized,
the one standing
before him
was his Idea,
except now, it had a face.

The little boy's
eyes twinkled,
and with a smile on his lips,
he breathed his last,
for his eyes could not handle
the sheer beauty of his
Idea incarnated.

For Sale

2009-12-16T18:53:00.004+08:00

Let me buy you
a drink.
A (non-alcoholic) beverage
that costs three times more
than my beer.
The price I paid for this
entitles me to un-
limited access
to your skin, your hair,
your cheap perfume
that stings my nostrils,
and to one guaranteed listener
who will listen to my problems,
and nod her head in the correct places,
and who will consider me
the most handsome man in the world--
that is, until the
drink disappears.

*post-birthday poem, 16 Dec 2009
Legacy, West Point, Cubao

I Stumbled Upon the Secret of Time Travel

2009-11-30T07:28:00.003+08:00

yesterday, while I was watching Superman
on HBO. I discovered that
when I squinted my eyes
and tilted my head just a little bit to the left,
the image becomes swept in
an outward gradient
blurring the edges.

Then suddenly I was watching
Superman on another
television screen,
but this time –

I could see
     little white ants
     scurrying onscreen
I could hear
     the faint grinding noise
     of magnetic tape against chrome head
I could smell
     the sickeningly sweet
     metallic aroma of the Betamax
I could taste
     the little Horlick chocolate drop
     slowly melting in my mouth
And I could feel
     the strange tingling
     sensation in my groin
     the first time I saw Superman
     lock lips with Lois Lane.

*May 6, 2005.
**The inspiration for this was actually the movie Coming to America, but I just changed the film to something 80s that more people can relate to.

The Song of the Pied Piper

2009-11-15T17:00:00.005+08:00

"The Song of the Pied Piper" is a mythical song, which all human beings supposedly hear before they die.

The earliest mention of this song can be seen on an Egyptian heiroglyph, circa 1300 BC, which depicts a dying man with the symbol for music around his head.

Stories about this legendary song have been told in all continents. Ancient Chinese scrolls have described some sort of "soft music with a lot of bells" that accompany a person who travels to the afterlife. An ancient Ashanti folktale tells about a dead person "crossing over to the other side, to the sound of a thousand drums." A pre-Hispanic Filipino legend also speaks of a song that causes death upon all who hear it. An old Viking legend also mentions a death song, but describes it as full of "horns and wailing women". Roman Catholic lore, on the other hand, often describes a soul's entrance to the gates of heaven as accompanied by the "music of a choir of angels." Of course no one who has heard the song has lived to describe it in detail.

The earliest attempt to transcribe this song was in 1711, by Austrian composer Leopold Franz van Alsberg. Van Alsberg was said to be beside his father's deathbed, when the father suddenly spoke in a barely audible voice, "What lovely music I hear!" The father, who was also a composer, was able to hum a few bars of the song before slowly going off to his eternal sleep, and Van Alsberg was able to transcribe these few bars. Van Alsberg was supposed to use these few bars as a take-off point for a full opera as tribute to his father, and was tentatively titled "Das Lied des Pfeifers", or "The Song of the Pied Piper". However, not a single note was added to the song, since Van Alsberg succumbed to tuberculosis the winter following his father's death. The original sheet music transcribed by Van Alsberg is currently in the International Museum of Music, and was for the longest time thought to be an original piece composed by Van Alsberg.

This legendary death song only became known officially as "The Song of the Pied Piper" in 1912. British opera star Linda Delaney, then eighty-seven (87) years old, told her sister one morning, "Do you hear that song? So lovely." She began humming the song all day, and one of her friends, Gordon Copeland, a former student of hers, happened to hear her humming it. Copeland asked her, "Is that Van Alsberg's 'Song of the Pied Piper' you're singing?" To which Delaney replied, "I don't know, I've just been hearing it in my head all day." And that same night, Linda Delaney died of cardiac arrest, and the story of the piper's song spread throughout the music circles of Europe.

Modern technology has slowly revealed that the fabled piper's song may in fact actually exist. The advent of Sensory Autopsy, developed by Swiss techno giant Technochos, has enabled science to get a glimpse of what the five human senses experience prior to death. The famous Sensory Autopsy Report, one of the first documented reports in Canada, actually revealed the existence of unmistakeable music heard just minutes before the subject's death. This music was isolated and recorded (though of poor quality), but was identified to be exactly the same song as Leopold Franz van Alsberg's "The Song of the Pied Piper", although a bit slower in tempo. Nevertheless, this finding was the first shred of scientific evidence that "The Song of the Pied Piper" is not a myth after all. And until today, scientific research is still being conducted on this subject, with all researchers hoping for the holy grail, which is to hear "The Song of the Pied Piper" in its entirety, and live to tell the tale.

See also: Death; Delaney, Linda; Legends; Myths; Van Alsberg, Leopold Franz

The Sensory Autopsy Report

2009-11-14T08:28:00.002+08:00

SENSORY AUTOPSY RESULTS

Dear Sir:

We have here now the results of our brand new procedure called the Sensory Autopsy, which we have conducted on your wife.

The Sensory Autopsy is a unique procedure, wherein the subject's brain is plugged into a sensory scanner, which then analyzes the final data processed by her senses immediately before her death.

The findings for her senses of Touch, Taste, Smell, and Sight are consistent with a state of complete sobriety. No trace of alcohol, drugs, or any intoxicating substances were present in her system during the final minutes before the automobile accident; therefore, no finding of fault or negligence can be attributed to her.

However, the findings for her sense of Hearing revealed that she was listening to a song minutes before her death. We isolated the song and sent it to Forensics for identification. Forensics sent back their reply, which stated:

"We have analyzed the car radio from the automobile wreckage, and have come to the conclusion that no music was playing immediately before the accident, as the car radio was turned off. However, we ran the song you sent us through our database, and have identified it as "The Song of the Pied Piper".

"The Song of the Pied Piper" has always been regarded as legend and myth, and is supposedly the last song a person hears before being summoned by Death. The Sensory Autopsy result for your wife is actually the first shred of scientific evidence that the song actually exists.

If you heard "The Song of the Pied Piper" that was taken from your wife's Sensory Autopsy results, you need not worry, as it is merely a recording. It is only when heard live that it becomes a death call. We are truly sorry for your loss, but we ask you not to mourn, as every one of us will get the chance to hear "The Song of the Pied Piper" sooner or later. Hopefully not sooner.

Our condolences,

Director,
Sensory Autopsy Department

*Requiescat in Pace, Remedios S. Esquivias, 1959-2009

Magnum Silencium

2009-10-28T08:12:00.004+08:00

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.

O Lord, under Thy perpetual light do we isolate ourselves
Behind walls of stone do we seek guidance.
Grant us Maximum Silence
That we may be guided by the Holy Spirit
To see who among us rests in Your favor.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord
Host of hosts
Server of servers
May we break through the firewall and connect

              CONNECTION ESTABLISHED…YOU ARE NOW ONLINE…
              NAME? Cardinale Iñigo Benucci PASSWORD? * * * * *
              REQUEST TYPE (PHYSICAL/MENTAL/SPIRITUAL)? spiritual.
              ENTER REQUEST: delete sins.
              …PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE CHECK YOUR SINBOX…
              YOU HAVE ONE (1) SIN. delete all.
              ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE ALL SINS? yes.
              YOUR SINBOX IS EMPTY. new>request
              REQUEST TYPE (PHYSICAL/MENTAL/SPIRITUAL)? mental.
              ENTER REQUEST: clarity of mind.
              …PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE IDENTIFY THE CLUTTER…
              FOUR (4) FACTORS IDENTIFIED. list.
              FAVORITISM//FATIGUE//FRIENDSHIP//FEALTY. clear all.
              ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CLEAR YOUR MIND? yes.
              …PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE CLEAR YOUR MIND…
              YOU ARE NOW ENLIGHTENED.

May the Lord guide my hand
As I choose who among us shall lead the Flock
That they may not stray far from Your holy light.
May Christ guide my conscience
Knowing I have chosen right
Even if I have chosen
Myself.

Amen.

*Requiescat in Pace, Karol Wojtyla a.k.a. Pope John Paul II
circa Apr 2005

Sestina of a Psychotic Mind

2009-10-26T18:46:00.001+08:00

What are you looking at? You looking at me?
Do you have a gun, you punk? You must
have a gun if you want to look at me like that.
Go ahead then, take it out, why don’t you?
Well, so you do have a gun after all then.
You didn’t act so tough when you were alone

without it the other day. Both of us are alone
right now, punk. It’s just you and me
right here in this room. Think then,
before you act. In fact you first must
realize that the advantage is not with you;
I have a weapon with me exactly like that.

Yeah, that’s right. What, you thought that
I’d let you get away with it? Now leave me alone,
I don’t want to see you or anything related to you.
I’m sick and tired of you following me
around everywhere ─ literally. Must
you be present wherever I am? Then

why are you following me? Go on then,
speak up, punk. Say something! What? Say that
again? Were you talking to me? You must
be talking to me. Remember, we’re alone
here. Go ahead ─ why don’t you explain to me
how is it possible for me to catch glimpses of you

even in the most unlikely places? You
once appeared to me in the bathroom; then
again in a crowded street, you looked me
straight in the eye. The only bad thing is that
it seems no one else can see you. I alone
can sense your presence. This must

mean that you’re not real. Then I must
be going nuts! I’m real, I exist. But can you
be real if you exist in my imagination alone?
How do I tell truth from fiction then?
Both of us cannot be real, therefore that
means one of us is an illusion, either you or me.

Only one must be left standing alone. Let’s agree then
to draw our weapons and fire at the same time, that
we may know if you are real, or it was all just me.

*circa 24 Mar 2006

The Villain Nell

2009-10-21T17:38:00.000+08:00

Where is the villain Nell Gonzales?
That guy will be surely missed.
But now no one knows where he is.

He believed in what his parents said;
from birth, a naturally-trained leftist.
Where is the villain Nell Gonzales?

New ideas blossomed in his head,
made him a prominent youth activist.
And now, no one knows where he is.

Because he loved the color red,
he was unjustly labeled a terrorist.
Where is the villain Nell Gonzales?

A million people on the streets he led.
His picture’s on the wanted list.
But now no one knows where he is.

To the mountains he has fled
to live the life of a Communist.
Where is the villain Nell Gonzales?
No one knows where he is.

*circa 7 Mar 2006

World War II Ghazal: The War in the Pacific

2009-10-16T08:47:00.000+08:00

Soldiers’ screams of satisfaction heard in the air

Wails of the women whispered in the air

My trauma of killing can be traced back to this memory:

Bayonets and babies butchered in the air

On those dreaded events like a village raid,

The amount of fear can be measured in the air

Pandemonium has taken control of the streets

Mickey Mouse banknotes fluttered in the air

Fearsome as dragons, the kamikaze planes

Birds of freedom are slaughtered in the air

*circa 2 Mar 2006

World War II Ghazal: The European Front

2009-10-15T08:20:00.000+08:00

Another round of mortar shells exploding down the road
Battle-clad G.I. Joes strolling down the road

Change of plan, let’s take the west path
There’s two squads in ambush hiding down the road

Hold your fire! Civilians on center stage!
Women and children running down the road

The boys have landed. They’ve locked out the beach fronts
A caterpillar of tanks is rolling down the road

They were like corpses – the sons of Abraham
At the prison camp we saw while driving down the road

*circa 2 Mar 2006

Infidel (Sonnet)

2009-10-14T05:53:00.001+08:00

1. The first time my wife went abroad was the first time I slept alone since the day I got married.

2. The first time I took off my wedding ring left me with discomfort, but I didn’t believe you would go for me when I learned that you were married.

3. I remember us exchanging small talk at the grocery, which raised my spirits until you smiled, turned around, and walked away.

4. I remember wishing your husband was absent also, upon learning that you too had no children and you lived only two doors away.

5. Nothing happens the way you plan it, for even as I promised myself to steer away from you, I couldn’t believe my luck when you offered me a ride in your car.

6. Nothing compares to a ten-minute walk with a woman you like, and as I carry your groceries home, I thank God you didn’t take your car.

7. Since my wife departed, the loneliness finally sank in, and I couldn’t believe it when you appeared at my doorstep with a bottle of tequila; I let you in at once.

8. Since I was pissed drunk the previous night, I acquired temporary amnesia, so I could hardly believe it when I saw your naked body beside me; I jumped up and got dressed at once.

9. You rolled down your window and offered me a ride again; I suddenly realized that you have an annoyingly whiny voice, and it would be torture to talk to you.

10. You showed up at my door again with pornography and another bottle of tequila, and I can’t believe that you only look prettier the less clothes there are on you.

11. As you bombard me with psychotic messages (I leave unanswered), I leave a message at my wife’s hotel, telling her to call me as soon as she gets back.

12. As my cellular phone keeps ringing (which I don’t answer), my wife calls long distance; I tell her I miss her and can’t wait to have her back.

13. Looking out my window, I saw you waiting in your car for me to come out, and I just couldn’t believe that what I wished for actually happened.

14. Looking up the flight schedules, I carried my bag to the departure gate, where I would soon be joining my wife, and never breathe a word about what actually happened.

*circa 24 Mar 2006. Original version circa 13 Feb 2006.

(Dis)Like Father, Like Son

2009-10-13T08:56:00.003+08:00

              “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

In the name of the Father,
forgive me, my Son.
My sins have been pre-ordained
even before they were committed.
Polygamy is encoded in my DNA.
It is in yours, too;
you have my Y-chromosome.
Do not judge my faults and failures now,
for it is your destiny to repeat them.

Bless me father,
for I curse thee.
I’m Mama’s Boy through and through.
Your name is a burden to carry.
Your third first-born is counterfeit to me.
Monogamy is a choice
you decided not to use,
showing us your papier-mache backbone.
You left behind you a virus:
mutated my memories (of you)
from happiness to hatred.
Expect no wedding invitation
for you will never understand the logic behind
wearing only one ring in your hand.

              The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
              But Washington apples are available in China.

*circa 23 January 2006

Directed by the Maestro

2009-10-12T06:01:00.002+08:00

And the Lord said:
“Let there be light.”

And there was light – 2 kilowatts
(Remember, this is a 1:3 ratio
of light against shadow)
Less light on the background, please.

When we were young,
we were silent. But
as we grew older, we
learned how to create
Sound

Speed…this is
a live recording, people.
No breathing on the set.

And as we grew older, we
discovered Memory,
our mental archive
which captures life like
a camera

Rolling…and the climax
scene 1, sequence 29, shot 5
take one…this is
one long take, people…and
Action!

From childhood to growthspurt,
from growthspurt to raging hormones,
from lust, we fall
in love

But remember, that was ages ago.
Now you’re all alone. Just sit there
and look miserable. Then move
closer, close-up on the hand, holding
a photograph of that villain!
Stay longer on the photograph, and –
there we go! – beautiful
teardrop right on target.

The Lord gave us emotions;
to some, a blessing,
to others, a curse. But
the Lord also gave a gift that can
affect our emotions – it is called
Music

which slowly fades in,
there we go, nice, tear-jerking
music; not too loud,
just right. Then move back to the face –
close-up on those sad eyes,
like a dam about to break –
hold that look.

Now sometimes, we have emotions
so heavy that it becomes
a burden to bear.
On the borderline, we are in danger
of crossing over
to Insanity, or to its cousin,
Death.

But you will not kill yourself,
oh no. A broken heart does not
justify taking your own life
and ending it – No, your life
is not worth two of that scum.
You are the star here.
This is your movie.
That asshole’s name doesn’t even
appear on the poster.

Because the Lord gave
everyone of us a chance
to shine in our own movie,
and it doesn’t end until
the credits start crawling upward.

Now wipe your eyes – don’t look
sad anymore – that’s better.
Crumple the photograph, then
give us a smile. You’re single again.
And you’re happy. Perfect,
hold that face – beautiful.
And…CUT!

*circa 5 Dec 2005

Like a Flower

2009-10-05T09:37:00.002+08:00

we blossom with the
sunrise, and sleepily shake
off the morning dew,
and as Apollo's
flaming chariot
travels through the
sky, so
do we
open our
petals, scatter
our colors,
and spray
our odors,
attracting bees, catterpillars--
attracting life.
At noon,
the zenith, is
our prime, and later
the afternoon shower
might dampen our spirits,
but we blossom again in
time to take
in the
splendor of the sunset,
and we get ready to sleep, for
tomorrow, today
repeats itself,
over and over,
until the day we are picked.

*Requiescat in Pace, Melchor De Santos, 1950-2009

The Legend of the C-Town Racers

2009-09-30T15:26:00.002+08:00

There is a saying that goes: When racing in the C-Town Circuit, never, ever race against a local. You will lose the lead as fast as you will lose your money. The most dreaded drivers on the streets today all hail from the C-Town.

Some say the C-Town drivers have superior skills behind the steering wheel. Almost as if they can control their cars with their thoughts alone.

But truth is, the C-Town racers are not better drivers.

They just have faster cars.

Their engines have at least a hundred horsepower-advantage over the other ordinary stock engines.

That's because in the ninth month of the ninth year of the second millenium, a great deluge destroyed and drowned the entire C-Town. No cars were spared in that tragedy. Entire engines went underwater.

Thus, all the C-Town cars had their engines overhauled, with some slight modifications from the master mechanics.

And that is why, in a street race, a C-Town Racer will always finish first, and will always leave you behind, blinded by a cloud of dust.

*inspired by The Great Flood of '09, 26 Sep 2009

Gambling with God

2009-09-30T15:08:00.002+08:00

When God said,
"All in",
I called His
bluff because
I had a
full house.

As I put all my chips
in the pot, I
decided to ask God
a question that's
been bothering
me for a long time.

I asked, "God,
I understand why
You destroyed the cities
of Sodom and Gomorrah.
But why,"
asked I,
"did you deliver a deluge that drowned
my quiet little provincial town,
when the souls of my townsfolk
are not even half as dirty
as the caramel-brown
filthy floodwaters (filled
with the wastes
and urine of all urban
life forms) You
sent to sink their spirits
and float their furniture?
Why must you
destroy those who
don't deserve to die?"

To which God
answered, "Because
life is like
poker. You
never know
what you're
going to get."

And with that, God
smiled, showed
His hand
(a straight flush),
and then
claimed all the chips
as spoils of victory,
while I just
sat silently and stared into space.

*inspired by The Great Flood of '09, 26 Sep 2009

The Raging River Rapids

2009-09-07T14:20:00.003+08:00

The next time
you feel
like killing your-
self,
try taking a
ride down a
raging river.
Hopefully, you
will realize
that you are
definitely no
messiah, and you
are not even better off
than that
insect that can
walk on water;
and You are
nothing but
an insignificant piece
of flotsam,
totally powerless
against the
mighty, mighty
current
of life.

*Conception: Cagayan de Oro river, 30 Aug 2009.

Slick Spider

2009-09-03T17:51:00.001+08:00

Slick Spider spit
out a strand
of a lie.

Then he realized that
spitting lies was good.

So he
spit some
more strands
of lies,
and continued spitting them out,
until it became one huge web.

Then he wanted to
spit some
more, but the
web became too
sticky; Slick Spider
could no longer
get out.

He was trapped
in his own web.

And as he
tried to
spit some
more, he slowly
covered himself up, and
slowly suffocated
in his own spit.

Such is the sad, sad story of Slick Spider.

*Children's poem

My Monster (a.k.a. Gremlin)

2009-08-27T16:46:00.007+08:00

I have a
monster in my
pocket.

I think
my monster
is a she.

My monster
is scary, with
big scary eyes.
A lot of kids
are afraid
of her. Because
my monster
does not like kids.

My monster
is cranky, and
has been known to
bite children's fingers off,
behaving like a brat
when she does not get
what she wants.

But
my monster is mean
only to others.
Not to me.

My monster
is really nice and sweet.
She flashes
her huge,
mischievous eyes
as she rubs
against my leg.

I have a
monster in my
pocket.

And she is mine.

*Children's poem

The Warfare of Walls (Working Title)

2009-08-25T15:50:00.002+08:00

The problem with walls is this:

When two warring states are
separated by a wall,

you can-
not see
the enemy.

You have no idea
whether you are facing a
thousand troops
or a
single soldier.

Thus, you will have to
utilize your siege
weapons. But there is too
much math
involved. You must
calculate for
probability of placement
of troops,
plus parabolic projectile paths,
which may or may not
hit your target.

Walls leave you blind.
And so they must be broken down.

Without walls,
the battlefield becomes bigger.
And you can see with your
own eyes, whether your
archers' arrows
pierce the heart of the enemy.

The Princess and the Thief (Working Title)

2009-08-24T11:16:00.002+08:00

They called him an amateur,
a thief who was too
flashy, too fast.
"I'll show them
who's an amateur,"
said the thief, as
he clambered up the wall
and swung over the balcony
to the princess's bedroom.
All in less than a minute.

He picked the
lock, and landed
beside the sleeping
figure of the beautiful
princess.
All in less than a minute.

The other thieves
said that he couldn't
steal the princess's tiara.
But the thief was
arrogant, and
decided he could steal the
tiara, and a kiss
from the sleeping princess
at the same time.

So he moved closer,
looking into the
princess's beautiful
face, and as he
moved his lips
to kiss hers,

she woke up.
All in less than a minute.

And the next morning,
everyone in the castle was
bustling with excitement,
to watch the execution
of the amateur thief who
got caught stealing
a kiss from
the sleeping princess.

They've Killed a Cat

2009-08-23T07:44:00.005+08:00

Or more specifically,
he did, since
he was behind the wheel.
"You've killed a cat!"
she shouted,
and he quickly looked behind
in the rear view mirror,
but there was no sign of any
dead feline,
no body on the asphalt.
He couldn't have
killed a cat,
because she loved cats, and
to kill a cat
would be like
killing her too.

But he did see a
cat cross,
and he did slam on the brakes,
yet he felt something
under the wheel, and
he did hear
a thud, and a
sort of squishy sound.

They both saw it;
they both heard it; and
they both felt it.

They (might have)
killed a cat.
But the cat seems
to have vanished
without a trace.

*inspired by real events, and the poem "They've Killed a Dog" by Michael Balili

Foul-Mouthed Fred

2009-08-22T10:32:00.003+08:00

Foul-Mouthed Fred is a bad little lad;
he’s the kid most parents hate.
He curses a lot whenever he talks,
and to think that the boy’s only eight!

Foul-Mouthed Fred is avoided by kids,
which is why his friends are so few.
“Don’t play with that boy,” their parents all say.
“He might teach you a curse word or two.”

Foul-Mouthed Fred doesn’t mean to offend;
he was just brought up that way,
growing up in a jungle of childish adults
who never control what they say.

Foul-Mouthed Fred isn’t really that bad,
except for his vile, verbal ways.
He may curse like a convict and talk like a thug,
but his heart is in the right place.

Foul-Mouthed Fred and I are good friends,
and I’ve been trying to help make him see
that speaking bad words is really uncool.
But why won’t he listen to me?

*circa December 2006-January 2007

The Lover's Dilemma

2009-08-21T14:04:00.001+08:00

Do I
kiss you
now,
and later regret it
for the rest of my life,

or

do I
not kiss you
at all,
and later regret it
for the rest of my life?

Can You See the Crocodiles

2009-08-19T16:48:00.003+08:00

Can you see the crocodiles?
One…Two…Three
Three thrill-seeking crocodiles
surfing in the sea.

Can you see the ostriches?
Four…Five…Six
Six skateboarding ostriches
practicing their tricks.

Can you see the polar bears?
Seven…Eight…Nine
Nine nauseous polar bears
hanging from a vine.

Can you see the jellyfish?
Ten…Eleven…Twelve
Twelve twinkling jellyfish
crawling up the shelf.

*circa November or December 2006

Overseas

2009-08-15T16:11:00.004+08:00

I took
(care of)
a child
(not my own),
while back home,
my sister took
(care of)
mine.

I did this
for ten years.

Now, my
child calls my
sister: mother,
and calls
me: auntie.

*Inspired by the documentary Kunyang, directed by Vivian N. Limpin and Kat Loreños

The Soul-Bind Spell

2009-08-05T22:06:00.004+08:00

The spell to bind yourself to your soul-mate.

Most powerful when cast on a Full Moon.

Spell type: Recp
Pref: Out-PM; FM

Equipment:
Headgear
Magic Wand
Potion 120ml (Li)
Water (Wa)
Firestarter (Fi)
THC (Ea)
Peace pipe (Wi)
Photograph of the subject

Don the headgear, and walk onto an open field as the Full Moon rises. The headgear must not be removed during the duration of the spell.

Drink the potion. You will have 20 minutes before the effects are felt. Take the photograph, then place it on the ground in front of you. Use the tip of your magic wand and draw a circle on the ground around the photograph. Stare at the photograph and mutter the incantation nine times:

Mergis eternam te anima meæ

With the firestarter, set fire to the photograph, and use its flame to light the peace pipe. Inhale deeply, and as you blow the smoke out, speak the name of the subject, your soul-mate. Then wash your mouth with water, and the spell is completed.

* * *

“Are you coming to dinner or not?” asked the woman as she opened the door to the basement. “Your soup is getting cold.”

“Yes, I’ll join you in a minute,” he answered, still reading the page of the book he was holding.

“You’re not going through any of those old sorcery books of yours again, are you?” The woman stole a quick glance at the book. “You’d best hurry or the kids will finish off the dessert I made.” Then she climbed out of the door, wiping her hands on her apron.

The man stared after her as she left, then smiled to himself. “I have married the right woman,” he thought, and he closed the dusty book and followed her to dinner.

*circa 2004

Elegy for Cory Aquino

2009-08-01T14:06:00.005+08:00

They tied
a yellow ribbon
'round the tree.

They said yellow
is a magical color.

It can stop tanks
and freeze bullets;
it can lead people to the streets,
topple tyrants,
create constitutions;
it can put
martyrs on money,
and turn soldiers
against their commander-in-chief.
It can change
peoples' perception
regarding a woman's ability
to lead a nation.

The color yellow can also
unite a multitude
in one voice.

And now the yellow ribbon
has detached itself
from the tree,

and is now flying
in the wind.

*Requiescat in Pace, Corazon Cojuangco Aquino
Saturday, 1 August 2009.

Socialists Under a Capitalist Roof

2009-07-27T22:48:00.006+08:00

An example of irony:

When it rained
on their parade,

the Marxists
sought sanctuary
inside McDonald's.

*SONA 27 July 2009

The Emperor's Speech

2009-07-27T22:35:00.003+08:00

Once a year,
the Emperor
speaks in front of
the people.

The Emperor rambles on
about how good
the year was,
and how the next year
could be better.

The people
(are supposed to)
listen when
the Emperor says that

the coffers are
slowly filling up;
the Empire's crime
rate has dropped; the laborers
are generally happy
with their wages;
and anything else
that would
make the Emperor look
good.

Yet the people know that
these are all lies,
and that the Emperor
is rambling on
like an idiot.

Good thing these people
are not the French.
The last time they
got fed up,
they sent their
rulers' heads rolling
into the guillotine basket.

*written Sunday, 19 July 2009 for Ugnayan ng Nagkakaisang Artista (UNA)
also published in Kalasag

Elegy for Michael Jackson

2009-07-21T10:38:00.006+08:00

It has been quite
some time now since
the King has left
the building,

but the janitors still
have their hands
full trying to
clean the track
marks off
the floor, from
all the people trying to
moonwalk across
the lobby.

Waiting Bed

2009-07-19T17:34:00.004+08:00

During the day,
this is a waiting shed.
When nighttime comes,
it becomes someone's bed.

Carnivore

2009-07-07T10:40:00.004+08:00

The first time I sunk
my teeth on some
prime, first-
class steak,

I imagined that this was how
Homo erectus must have
felt upon tasting
the meat of the mighty
bison, after he had
finally mastered fire.

Harmed Struggle

2009-07-04T12:21:00.008+08:00

(Fact: a bullet is harm-
less outside
its chamber)

This is how to assemble
an Amaru .357:

First, combine the bolt¹ and the carrier².
¹bolt─the mind:
produces theory,
which is our thesis
²carrier─the flesh of the word;
manifested as practice,
the antithesis

Insert the combined³ bolt and carrier, and push the handle⁴ forward.
³combined─theory and practice
becomes concrete
action
⁴handle─the next thesis
must be pushed
forward to create
a new contradiction

Align the hammer⁵ with the trigger⁶.
⁵hammer─the conscience
must be aligned with the
⁶trigger─the decision
to produce morals

Pull up the lock-on spring guide⁷, which allows you to put the cover⁸ back on the chamber⁹.
⁷lock-on spring guide,
to keep us in line
⁸cover─criticism
of others about you,
placed over the
⁹chamber─self-
criticism: what you think
about yourself

Then insert a fully-loaded magazine¹⁰, unlatch¹¹ the safety¹², and cock¹³ the handle.
¹⁰magazine─fully-loaded
arms of the people’s warrior.
To follow it, we must
¹¹unlatch─detach:
separate oneself from
¹²safety─the family, the way of life
must be left
behind with-
out looking back.
¹³cock─get ready
for the next contradiction

The Amaru.357 is a gift
from Cuba to the Philippines (one sister to another)
two daughters of Mother Spain
forced into marriage to a bald-eagled redneck
for a dowry of twenty million dollars.

It was the same weapon used by Cuba to shoot her husband, formalizing the divorce.

*Filipino version here

*circa 24 Mar 2006

Dominus (Radio Edit)

2009-06-21T13:35:00.002+08:00

I may seem shy in real life,

but when I am on the air,
I am in my element.

The airwaves are my domain;
everyone tuned in, my subjects;
and my kingdom stretches as far as this broadcast can carry my voice.

The words I speak tonight
will remain in your subconscious mind
for the rest of your life.

The word can become flesh.
And the one with the microphone can change the world.

*performed at Bigkas Pilipinas, Jam 88.3, Sat 21 Jun 2009
"Dominus" original version here

Time Capsule

2009-04-16T10:49:00.005+08:00

Just hours from the city,
a hundred years back in time.
Back to the province.

*Some people would think that a haiku should conform strictly to the 5-7-5 syllabication scheme. But if the flow of the sound is compromised by being one syllable short, then by all means, throw 5-7-5 out the window.

**10 May 2008, Agno, Pangasinan

Startled

2009-04-01T11:39:00.007+08:00

Doe.
A deer.
A female deer.
Still as a statue;
eyes, gentle
like deep pools of water.
Picture-perfect stance;
slow yet fleeting,
like a dream.

Beauty like this
must be approached with caution.

Slow
and steady.
Fragile. Handle
with care.
Like carrying a Ming Dynasty vase
across a tightrope.

One
wrong
move
and---

Crack!

There goes my prey.

Frisbee

2009-03-18T10:12:00.007+08:00

I am more like a frisbee
than a boomerang.

When you throw me (away),

I
never
come back.

Dominus (working title)

2009-03-14T12:28:00.003+08:00

I may seem shy in real life,

but when I am onstage,
I am in my element.

The stage is my domain;
everyone in the audience my subjects;
and my kingdom stretches as far as the wind can carry my voice.

The words I speak tonight
will remain in your subconscious mind
for the rest of your life.

The word can become flesh.
And the one with the microphone can change the world.

*written (but not performed) for Poetic Soujourn, UP Portia Sorority, Fri. 13 Mar. 2009

White Queen to Move

2009-03-03T20:46:00.009+08:00

Game Two.

Empty space between Black King and pawn.

White Queen moves to empty space.

Black King contemplates two possible scenarios:

First, White Queen moves into empty space purposely as bait, waiting for Black King to pounce.

Second, White Queen is only interested in the space, and as far as she's concerned, Black King doesn't even exist.

Black King needs more time to analyze.

Black King exceeds time limit and fails to move.

~~Check~~ Stalemate.

White Queen: Thirty.
Black King: Love.

White Queen to Move.

Dear John

2009-02-15T02:27:00.004+08:00

Dear John,

I know you have to leave, and no one's stopping you. Hell, if my girl left me for another guy, I'd want to see the world, too. So I took the liberty of packing your suitcase for you. I included stuff to make sure you stay on the path, my brother.

First, the Eiffel Tower. To remind you of romance. And sex. Get laid!

Second, I put some you-know-what in the secret compartment. The smell alone should keep you happy. Just don't let them airport dogs sniff it, you know what I mean?

Third, I printed out that pic of your ex kissing that guy. I got it from her Facebook.

Fourth, I included my Zippo lighter. I'm giving it to you. Once you're over that bitch, burn the picture. Shift-delete her. Only then will you be truly free.

Fifth, don't forget your cellphone. We want to hear your voice when you're screaming at the top of the pyramids.

Call us, dude. We won't call you, as long-distance rates are expensive.

Love, Paul

*writing exercise for Jam 88.3 Performance Poetry Lecture hosted by Kooky Tuason featuring Siege Malvar, 14 Feb 2009
**performed at Bigkas Pilipinas, Jam 88.3, 14 Feb 2009
***bitterness unintentional

How to Stop a Wolf on the Prowl

2009-02-06T16:05:00.006+08:00

I. The Predator

A (male) wolf on the prowl is unstoppable,
with senses heightened for the kill.
His sense of smell is trained to sniff the air
for the faintest trace of pheromones.

The wolf on the prowl has enhanced vision,
seeing everything in black and white---
except of course for the females,
which he sees in full-color high-definition.

The only way to stop a wolf on the prowl
is to set a trap for it.

II. The Bait

The bait must be extremely powerful
to overwhelm the heightened senses
of the wolf on the prowl.

The bait must emit an unfamiliar odor,
like the scent of an alpha female
of a slightly different breed.
Sickeningly sweet,
like white Swiss chocolate.
Unmistakeably female,
yet something the wolf has never smelled before.

The bait must cause the wolf
visual overload.
She should be more than eye-candy;
she should give the wolf visual tooth-decay.
The bait must be larger-than-life,
like a movie star on a forty-foot screen.

III. The Trap

The wolf on the prowl will sniff the air.
He will detect the strange new scent
and hone in on the bait's fragrance.

The wolf will set his sights on the bait,
and get ready to pounce.
But like a Gorgon,
the bait's stare is venomous.
Once the eyes of wolf and bait meet,
even for just a split-second,
the wolf crumples to the ground,
powerless.

IV. The Venom

The bait's venom
is transmitted through
visual contact.
A split-second stare
will stop the wolf in his tracks.

The venom spreads
in a matter of seconds.
It causes a rush in the bloodstream,
and makes the wolf's heart
pump twice as fast.

The venom reaches the brain
almost instantaneously.
The wolf may experience slight dementia,
with faulty judgment,
and possibly even hallucinations.

The venom is not lethal,
but it is quite toxic,
more powerful than alcohol.
More potent than any psychoactive substance,
it can leave the wolf inebriated
for several days.

A wolf on the prowl
cannot really be stopped.
It can only be slowed down.

Despite the venom,
the wolf will always find a way
to conquer the bait.

Epic Fail in Three Acts

2009-02-06T00:57:00.003+08:00

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
GUY -- single guy, late twenties
FRIEND -- GUY's male friend
GIRL a.k.a. HELEN OF TROY -- single girl, very beautiful, with a face that could start World War III

(Wedding reception. Food and drinks all around. Single guys and single ladies milling around.)

ACT I

FRIEND:
(approaches GUY) Hey, you seem unusually quiet.

GUY:
(stares lovestruck at HELEN OF TROY) She is soooooooo beautiful...

FRIEND:
Go talk to her!

GUY:
Later, dude. Let me work up my courage.

FRIEND:
Whatever.

ACT II
Thirty Minutes Later

FRIEND:
Still staring at her?

GUY:
Yes. And just so you know, she's been staring back.

FRIEND:
Really? Have you talked to her yet?

GUY:
Not yet. I'm really shy.

FRIEND:
What? Ask her to dance with you!

GUY:
Huh? I can't do that!

FRIEND:
Why not? It's a wedding! Oh look, some guys are talking to her. You're really slow, you know that?

GUY:
Okay, I'll talk to her. But I'll wait for that other guy to go away.

ACT III
Thirty Minutes Later Again

FRIEND:
You haven't talked to her yet? She's all alone! And I think she likes you.

GUY:
Okay, okay. I'm going.

(GUY approaches HELEN OF TROY)

GUY:
Hi.

HELEN OF TROY:
Hi.

GUY:
Um, are you a friend of the bride or the groom?

HELEN OF TROY:
(in a sexy French accent) Actually, the groom's cousin is our auntie. So the groom is like our uncle.

GUY:
Oh okay. Wait, the groom is kinda like your uncle? How old are you?

HELEN OF TROY:
Oh, I'm seventeen.

(Insert video footage of atomic bomb being dropped and a mushroom-cloud explosion.)

END

Forever, Eternal

2009-02-05T23:36:00.003+08:00

Thirty steps to the altar
is a very, very long road.

It should only take around thirty seconds,
yet I have walked this road my whole life.

I have dreamed of this before.
You and me.
Your world and mine.
All of you and all of me
gathered under one roof
in one celebration.

I have seen this many, many times,
even before I met you.
I have been asked these questions
countless times before.
You already know my answer,
same way I know yours.

I have seen this before,
in my dreams.
But today is different.
I know that this is not a dream,
for I can feel the warm tears
streaming down my face.

*Wedding poem for Jim Bacani and Bang Yanga, 05 February 2009, Caleruega

Not Even a Cup of Water

2009-01-30T09:31:00.005+08:00

"We are not to even as much as aid the infidels...even to as much as handing them a cup of water during battle."
- Muhammad Ali

(For purposes of this discussion,
the word "infidel" shall include
those who left and ran off
into the arms of another lover.)

Now imagine yourself
seated beside the infidel
listening to a three-hour lecture.

Somewhere during the second hour,
the infidel will ask you for a drink of water.

Psychosomatic

2008-12-25T01:41:00.002+08:00

I. Addict

Inhale.
You're the victim
of your own sorrow.
Emotions are nothing but
electrical impulses interpreted
in the mind.

What you feel is
what you are
is what you do.

He who chooses
to wallow in his misery
is addicted to it.

II. Insane

Exhale.
You're the perpetrator
of your own destiny.
Emotions are mere thoughts
manifested externally
through action.

Actions speak louder
than words speak
louder than thoughts.

He who wants to clear
all internal turmoil should
breathe it all out.

*inspired by the song "Breathe" by The Prodigy

My Son Smokes

2008-12-23T18:28:00.002+08:00

My son smokes.

Now that is probably the biggest insult to a man in uniform:
to have a pothead for a son.
Especially your first-born.

So I beat him
to make him see the folly of his ways.
I sent him to the best schools, and this is how he repays me.
So I enforced on him a new and improved
Drug-Free lifestyle.

However, when I woke up one morning,
the painting hanging from my bedroom was gone;
the first thing I saw in the morning for the past ten years,
a painting of my favorite band
painted by my son for my fortieth birthday.

And when I asked him,
"Where is the Sgt. Pepper painting?"
He just shrugged his shoulders and answered,
"You said Drug-Free."

Now that made me realize
my son is a true artist,
and what he does makes him no different
from my alcoholic sister or my philandering brother.

My son still smokes marijuana.
Just never in front of me.

*circa February 2004

Vienti Nueve

2008-12-15T03:19:00.001+08:00

Ako'y balisong.
Makintab at matalim,
maaaring makapagpasirit ng dugo
kapag itinusok sa iyong leeg.

Ako'y balisong
na walang silbi kundi
kumitil ng buhay.

Ako'y balisong,
maganda ang hawakang
inukit sa kahoy.

Ang paggawa ng aking hawakan
ay mas komplikado pa kaysa sa
paggawa ng aking talim.

'Pag ako'y nakatupi
ang aking silbi
ay pan-display lang.

Ako'y balisong,
matalim, maganda,
nakamamatay.
Ngunit ang nais ko
ay manatiling nakatupi lamang.

*Birthday poem for me, 2008.

Justified (working title)

2008-12-10T09:50:00.000+08:00

I can't see you, but I can hear you
on the phone
in that sugar-coated voice of yours
that I last heard you use on me
fifteen years ago.
He is fifteen years younger
by the sound of his voice,
and you call him by an endearment
you used to say only to me.
Yes, I heard it
because I was listening.

You can see me, but you can't hear me.
You can't hear the machine gun of rage
going off in my heart.
You can see me smile at you
but you can't hear me mutter under my breath
that when you say you're going to the supermarket,
you're really going somewhere else.
You don't hear it
because you're not listening.

I can't see you, but I can hear you
through the walls,
through the paper-thin walls
of my own bedroom.
The disrespect of it all,
muttering someone else's name
as someone else's semen stains the sheets
of my own bed.
Yes I heard it.
I was listening.

You can see me, but you can't hear me
cocking my sawed-off shotgun.
You can't hear the adrenaline rushing through my veins
nor can you hear the loud ringing in my ears.
That sound is the absence of reason,
the sound of the dark cloud over my obfuscated senses.
Every atom of my body is cursing you to the depths of hell
but you can't hear it.
You won't hear it
anymore.

*Written and performed 5 Apr 2008, "Bigkas Pilipinas," Jam 88.3

The Whore of Damascus

2008-12-05T12:31:00.000+08:00

I remember
her eyes:
sincere, yet deceptive,
intense, but far away;
her mouth:
spins sugar over words that
roll over her serpentine tongue.

She has a face that could launch a thousand armies
and that could sink a million ships.

And her body --
perfection incarnate.
Her skin radiates an unholy light,
every inch of her a testament
to the glory of a higher power.

She was the light that struck me blind.

The veil of darkness has been lifted.
Now I am enlightened.

Psalm 420

2008-11-29T07:47:00.000+08:00

I am the Shepherd
and this is My flock.
The coolest flock of sheep
in the universe.

These sheep answer to Me
and only to Me.
They do not run from
the sound of My voice
nor do they shy away from
the touch of My hand.

Their pen has been equipped
with high-definition CCTV surveillance cameras
and is surrounded by a
high-voltage perimeter barb-wire fence,
while I carry
a sniper rifle (with laser-sight
and night-vision technology) with Me
wherever I go.

And should any one of them
accidentally stray into the badlands,
a full rescue squad is sent
to retrieve them immediately.

But it has come to my attention
that one of you is a spy.
You are not really a sheep
but a wolf disguised as one.

As you all know, anyone caught
impersonating a sheep
shall be executed on the spot.

His name shall be erased from the halls of Valhalla,
his soul shall burn in the fires of Hades,
and his carcass shall be cast down from the top of Mt. Zion.

For whosoever messes with My flock
messes with Me
and I will strike you down
until you cease to exist.

*circa June 2004

The Queen of Heart(break)s, or What Have I Become After Twenty-Four Years

2008-11-28T08:01:00.002+08:00

Many wonder what it's really like:
Am I as powerful as I think I am?
Reality bites with the jaws of a cobra.
I've also realized that I can bite harder.
End of discussion.

Angel, they say I am.
Nobody would say otherwise.
Generally, I am a pleasant ray of sunshine,
Enveloping everyone around me
Like a fog in a naval battle,
Intensifying the tension.

Charm is my secret weapon
And with it, I can bleed hearts dry.

Must I use my power for myself?
Endless possibilities open up
Right in front of me.

Zip my gown, curl my eyelashes,
And announce the coming of the Queen of Heart(break)s.

Twenty-four years on this planet --
Hardly even reached my prime.
Even so, I now hold two hearts in my hands.
Look what I can do to them.

Might just be my imagination, but
One heart seems to be more badly damaged.

*Birthday poem for AT 2008.

The Amazon Queen

2008-11-09T17:24:00.000+08:00

The Amazon Queen
had a necklace with the teeth of an alligator
that she killed when she was still a princess.
(One tooth was missing
but no one noticed
because no one except Her knew
how many teeth an alligator had.)

And then came Man.

Man had come
with his tools for measurements
“To study nature,” he said
“for three days. And then,
I shall leave.”

The Amazon Queen
did not like the way
Man looked at Her
when he spoke.

On the first day
She took Man with Her
to hunt across the river.
Upon reaching the waters,
Man crossed the river first.
This angered the Amazon Queen
who crossed the water after him
and shouted in his face.

“Do you not know that it is considered rude
to cross the river before the Queen?”

And Man answered “I crossed first
to test the waters for piranhas.”

On the second day
She took Her spear to go hunting
and noticed the spear-head was different.
She knew at once who had done it.

“Do you not know,” She told Man
“that it is a crime to tamper with the Queen’s weapons?”

Man answered Her, “I noticed that
the spear-head was damaged, so I changed it
before You went hunting.”

On the third day
Man gave Her something small and white in Her hand.
“I noticed Your necklace
had alligator teeth. But I counted it
and found one missing.
Add this tooth to Your necklace
and now it is complete.”

The Amazon Queen
threw the tooth into the river
and angrily exclaimed:

“My necklace is perfect.
I am not missing a tooth.”

That night, Man left
never to return.

The next day
the Amazon Queen
realized too late
that She could not bring him back.

So she waded into the river
hoping to find
the tooth She had thrown away.

For Aika 8-11-05

My-Girl-Left-Me-for-a-Guy-with-a-Car Club

2008-11-02T14:58:00.001+08:00

It's more like a support group, really.

Fred, for example, loved his girl so much
Only he was too dependent, too attached,
Relying too much on her emotional mood swings.
Girl soon left him for a basketball player in an SUV.

Isaac, for instance, was a weakling,
Very skinny, always picking his nose.
Eventually, his girl started riding in her boss's limo.
You all know what happens after that.

On the other hand, Paul, artist extraordinaire,
Undeniably talented, but an aggressive hothead.
Always humiliated and yelled at his girl in public.
In the end, she left him for a defensive driver.

Kenneth, meanwhile, would always use force on his girl
At times when she would walk out of an argument.
Then one last time, she stood up and walked out,
Heading straight into the open doors of someone's sports car.

Each meeting started with the four gathered 'round,
Loudly chanting the club's motto/mantra:
My girl left me. But was it really the car?
Or was it something else entirely?

*Oct 29 2008

A Snake in the King's Garden

2008-10-22T07:09:00.003+08:00

A snake (poisonous)
in my garden? Absurd!
Yet here it is in front of me.
But how did it get through
the castle walls?

It slithered through the grass
past the sentries
and bit the queen.
My Queen.

And now my Queen is lying down
in a delirious fit
muttering a name that is not mine.

It wasn't too late;
the poison has been sucked out.
Yet what am I to do with the snake?

"Sire, let's stab it with my spear,"
said the sentry.

"I could even crush its head
with the heel of my boot," said I.
"But it is not the snake's fault.
All it saw was a female human.
It never saw her as a queen with a crown."

I ordered the sentry to hurl the snake
over the castle walls.

"But what about the queen, sire?" asked he.
"She does not seem to be her usual self."

"She will come back," said I. "She will come back."